


my kingdom for your soul

by unjintelligent



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angels, Angst, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Devils, Domestic Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Family, Family Bonding, Family Reunions, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Multi, Open Relationships, Open to Interpretation, Platonic Relationships, Public Display of Affection, Romantic Friendship, Timeline Shenanigans, Timelines, all that is gonna be explored for sure, belphegor is on thin fucking ice btw, except they did kinda make me feel bad for him so, he literally killed mc and i'm not over it, i didn't want to leave our og timeline boys hanging, ish, like??? they were w a i t i n g for mc to come back and they just never did, no gendering in this household, tagged major character death on a technicality, that's so sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26964982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unjintelligent/pseuds/unjintelligent
Summary: MC was ready to die. They'd been on this bitch of an earth long enough; it was time to make their residence in the Devildom permanent. That didn't exactly make it any easier, but hey, they'd already died once, right? This time, hopefully, it'd go without a hitch.Just one peaceful death, that's all they asked for.They should've known that nothing ever goes according to plan when it comes to them.OR: MC goes timeline-hopping yet again. Some are happy, and some will do anything it takes to get them back.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Luke (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Main Character & Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Simeon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader
Comments: 101
Kudos: 397





	1. welcome back, my sweet

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

You were nearing the end of your life, you were sure of it. It had been a good run, you supposed. You managed to reach a ripe old age of eighty or so years, longer than you'd expected considering the company you liked to keep.

You had your concerns about what was to come. It wasn't so much _where_ you ended up as the politics of it all. Would you rise to the heavens, spend eternity frolicking with the angels? (Actually, you'd learned, angels weren't really the frolicking type, but it was funny to think of those stoic winged beings giddily skipping through the clouds.) Or would you sink to the Devildom, finally becoming a true member of the House of Lamentation? No matter where you went, all sides would argue.

Heaven? Even imagining the hell that the demons would raise after that decision made your brain shut down. Hell? As if the Celestial Realm needed _more_ reasons to hate the Devildom. They knew how to hold grudges. You'd kept the peace by residing in the neutral zone, but, unlike everyone else, you weren't especially immortal.

Death was simple, but what came afterwards made your head hurt.

There was a deep ache in your bones nowadays. Even the little vials of healing potions Satan gifted you weren't enough anymore. 

You had a lot of visitors, lately. Sometimes you could see the unshed tears in their eyes before they turned away from you and pretended to busy themselves with the flower arrangements. Though they were all well-acquainted with death, it was surely something else seeing one they loved succumb to it themselves. What was a blink of an eye for a demon or an angel or a sorcerer was a lifetime for one such as you.

Humans weren't made for longevity, after all.

You weren't quite sure why _they_ thought it was a big deal. As far as you knew, there were only two places you could go after your soul left your body, and that was either the Celestial Realm or the Devildom. Either way, it wasn't like you'd be gone forever. Yeah, visitation would be a hassle if you ended up in Heaven, but still.

Every time you asked the demons, they reassured you that _yes, we will still keep in contact_ and _no, just 'cause you're dead, doesn't mean you can get rid of us_. Asmodeus was already planning the party they'd be throwing to celebrate your welcome to the afterlife. 

You were suddenly distracted from your thoughts by a brilliant blue butterfly. Chasing after it was your Hellhound, courtesy of Lucifer. He'd claimed it had been for your protection, but you saw the way he snuck the hound treats when he visited. It reminded you of Satan and the cats he used to take in and hide in his room. 

A knock sounded at your door. It was a familiar one, and you knew who it was instantly.

"Come in, Levi!" You shouted. 

"As expected of my true friend!" He beamed, pushing the door open. "I didn't even have to say anything and you knew it was me!"

"How could I not recognize you, Leviachan?" you teased, setting down a tray of freshly-baked cookies in front of him. His blush was always the same, even if you'd changed since your youth. You settled in across from him and resumed your conversation from last time. The two of you were deep in discussion about the latest edition of _TSL_ , when none other than Diavolo barged in. He was followed by an exasperated Barbatos and exhausted Lucifer.

"It's done, MC!" He shoved a piece of paper in your face, but he was too excited to hold it still. "You're going to Hell!"

You couldn't help the giggle that burst out of your lips.

"You owe me one hundred years of servitude for the paperwork I've done, MC," Lucifer complained, though there was a smile in his eyes.

"Gladly, Luci~" 

At that, he broke into a full grin. "Careful making deals with the devil, beautiful."

You scoffed. "You're the beautiful one, Morningstar." You brushed a wrinkled hand lightly against his cheek. "I'm jealous of your youth."

"Out of all of us, you're the most youthful," Diavolo laughed.

"You don't have to rub it in," you grumbled. One of the things you were most looking forward to after your upcoming death would be returning to your younger form. At least, you hoped that was what was going to happen. It would suck big time if you stayed old.

When you waved them goodbye, you smiled, knowing you'd be seeing them much sooner than they anticipated. 

You cuddled up with your pet, gave him one last smooch on the top of his furry head, uncapped the tiny bottle, and drank.

_~~~_

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You opened your eyes. That was much faster than you thought it would be. The setting was familiar, and you breathed in deeply. 

It had been a while since you'd had a taste of Devildom air.

_But why Barbatos' room...?_

Just like the last time you'd been, there were doors upon doors, all presumably leading to different realities. You felt the slightest temptation to peek into one, but decided it was for the best if you didn't. You didn't live this long without common sense.

You heard the doorknob turn, and held your breath. Barbatos stepped in, looking the same as he had twenty minutes ago. When you were alive. 

"Surprise!" You whisper-yelled, trapping him in a hug. Ah, to have your young, supple arms back.

"I have to say, this is not what I was expecting," his voice sounded genuinely shocked, which was a win in your book. It wasn't easy to catch Barbatos off guard. 

"That's the point of a surprise, silly," you laughed, letting him go. Though you weren't as close to Barbatos as you were the others, he was still a close friend, and you'd known each other long enough that you knew how to read his facial expressions. This one was one you'd be savoring for a long time: eyes widened and lips slightly parted. If you had your DDD, you'd be taking pictures. "Diavolo's around, right? I wanna go surprise him, too."

You tugged Barbatos' arm as you walked out of his room, quickly looking from side-to-side to make sure the coast was clear. After your many trips to the castle over the years, you practically knew the place like the back of your hand.

"Where would he be..." you muttered to yourself as you walked towards his bedroom. If he was in there, then perfect, it'd be a surprise. If he wasn't, then you'd surprise him when he inevitably entered his own room. Barbatos was still being dragged around silently behind you. "Don't warn him, B. You know I've wanted to get my revenge ever since he showed up at my house banging together pans in the dead of night just because Levi showed him that dumb video." Your neighbors had not been happy. "I can feel you texting right now."

You felt him put his DDD away. That was better.

When you reached your destination, you pressed your ear against the door, listening for any movement. There it was: a little flutter of leathery wings.

You slid Barbatos' phone out of his pocket silently, and turned on the camera. Throwing the door wide open, you yelled, "surprise!" and watched as he shot up into the air. You sent the recording to your phone (hopefully it was in your room, since you asked Levi to take it back to the Devildom for "repairs"), wordlessly handed it back to Barbatos, and began to coax the royal down from the ceiling.

"MC!" Diavolo smiled and dived down to you. You would've been scared of him crashing into you if he hadn't pulled this trick a million times already. "Back already? I knew I could count on you."

His statement struck you as odd. What did he mean 'back already'? That implied you were here in the first place. But you weren't; you had been in the human world for the last few years after everyone had deemed it unsafe to continue visiting in your old age.

"My Lord," Barbatos spoke for the first time since you'd met him in his room, "I believe something else has transpired here. This is not the MC we were expecting. Or, rather, not exactly."

You furrowed your brows, then sighed and relaxed your features. Stranger things had happened. Although you weren't expecting your death to be interrupted like this.

Nothing was ever be simple, could it?

Diavolo's smile dropped into a serious line. "Have a seat, you two. Let's chat."


	2. a moment is eternity, darling

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You chewed on your lip absentmindedly. Barbatos and Diavolo were speaking, but it was hard to hear them over the thoughts swirling in your head.

"Barbatos, for once, tell me the truth," two heads turned to face you. "Did you know this was going to happen?" _Was my entire life a lie?_ went unsaid, but they heard it nonetheless.

"No," he answered firmly. You believed him. It may have taken decades, but you liked to think you knew him well enough to know if he was blatantly lying to you. 

You nodded, then stood from where you were all were sitting around the fireplace to stand by the large window. It felt like you could see all of the Devildom from here. Two places in particular stood out: Purgatory Hall and the House of Lamentation. Everywhere you looked was full of memories that didn't exist. At least, not yet.

For them, it had been three hours and twenty-three minutes. Your decades of life had amounted to _three hours and twenty-three minutes_. You struggled to recall the events that, for them, had happened only today. 

Of course, it was difficult to forget what happened when you first stepped into the second timeline. You'd worked through it, both alone and with your friends. Your _family_. You'd healed and you'd forgiven and being here dredged up old scenes of blood on the floor and tears falling down demons' faces.

You sensed a presence behind you before you were pulled into a tight embrace. Diavolo was mischievous at best and calculatingly manipulative at worst, but let it be known that his hugs were just the right amount of suffocating to be a comfort. You were glad it felt the same across timelines.

"I sincerely apologize, MC," you felt the words rumble in his chest. "This was absolutely not my intention when I sent you to the past. I know this can't be easy for you, but I have faith in your resilience." 

Earlier, you'd told them the truth: you didn't know who opened the door to Belphegor's room. In the second timeline, it'd been you, and you'd paid dearly for it. Did that mean that it had been you originally, as well? You hadn't died in the first timeline, except, come to think of it, where had the original MC from the second timeline gone?

This was getting much too paradoxical for your tastes. For now, you cleared your mind and focused only on the present. 

For all intents and purposes, you were back here, in your original timeline more than five decades in the past. Your life, while it had been real, took place in the second timeline, where you eventually died, ready to join those you held most dear eternally. You'd had your fill of humanity, experienced all you'd ever wanted to experience, and it had been over. Except, it wasn't.

Here you were, alive and well once again. Had you really just cheated death twice?

Regardless, there was much for you to do. Again. All of that character development, the heart and soul you'd poured into the brothers was lost.

No matter; you'd done it once and you could do it again.

"I need to meet with Lucifer."

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

A glass shattered, spraying shards across a hard floor. Where an elderly human and their pet once lay was nothing but a shallow dip in the mattress.

A Hellhound ran across dark rolling hills towards a majestically gloomy mansion. It scratched at ornate doors.

"A visitor...?" Mammon wondered, going to open the door. "God? What are you doing here?" When Lucifer had first given MC the puppy, everyone had found the name absolutely hilarious. Their collar was adorned with "god dog", a present from Asmodeus, who insisted on dressing it up. 

Mammon went to pick it up, easily doing so despite it being quite large. He gave it belly-rubs and slipped into a coddling voice. "Who's a good doggy? Who's a good doggy? That's right, you are! So much better than your namesake~"

This was the scene that Satan walked into. He'd nearly backtracked out of the scene entirely, but quickly realized something. "Mammon, where's MC?"

It was comical the way Mammon immediately straightened and put down God. "That was my next question." He leaned down, peering into God's eyes. "Where's MC?"

Satan rolled his eyes. He stepped forward to lean over as well. "If God is here, then MC should be around somewhere, too. But it seems they're nowhere to be found. Although, they've been known to play tricks like this before."

"Yeah, but that was _before_. Remember, they're not allowed to come visit us anymore. Something about health risks and whatever," Mammon waved a hand flippantly. "As if we couldn't just protect them."

Satan hummed, distracted. On a whim, he inhaled, trying to source out any discerning smells. Could it be...? He stood up abruptly. "We need to talk to the others. Now."

Mammon looked like he wanted to argue, but decided against it. "What's going on?"

"Something's wrong."

Soon, the seven demon lords were assembled around the long table. One chair stayed vacant.

"MC is gone," Satan began. "God showed up without them, smelling faintly of one of Solomon's concoctions. The one that grants a quick and painless death." Gasps sounded around the table, most notably Asmo's and Levi's. 

"But, I _just_ saw them earlier!" Levi cried.

Lucifer's face was grim. "Yes, when we told them that they were to join us in the Devildom after their death. That must've been the final sign they'd been waiting for." They all understood. It was a surprisingly long process to approve of their soul being transferred to the Devildom rather than the Celestial Realm. Angels were quite territorial, as it was. Few would give up the chance to spite demons, much less the rulers of hell, and this was one valuable soul.

"So why aren't they here?" Beel questioned. 

"Maybe it was just a paperwork mix-up? And they'll show up any minute now?" Asmodeus hoped.

"I'm afraid that isn't the case. If there's one thing God knows, it's to follow MC. He wouldn't have come here if it wasn't an emergency." God's dog tag allowed him fairly effortless travels between realms, and he guarded both tag and human with all the might of Cerberus. This was getting increasingly concerning.

"Then what happened?" Belphegor gripped the table. The brothers' voices were overlapping now, the group descending into chaos.

"I don't know!" Lucifer shouted, pounding the table. It cleaved clean in half. The brothers became deadly silent. "I don't know." He repeated, more softly. "We need to talk to Lord Diavolo."

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

"You're back," Lucifer spoke simply, though his posture relaxed.

"Yes," you responded. Then you captured him in a hug, throwing your arms around his neck. He caught your weight gently, and you didn't miss the way he gripped onto your waist as he did so. Seeing his face only reminded you of what you'd left behind, however unwillingly, and you had to fight to keep tears from streaming out of your eyes. 

You'd mourn your life in the company of your ghost, away from prying eyes.

"My brothers were lost without you," he whispered. _I was lost without you_.

"Shall I go pay them a visit, then?"

He only held you tighter.

"My, what an emotional scene!" Diavolo, professional mood-ruiner, clapped his hands.

You squeezed Lucifer one more time, then released him. Your hands straightened his now-crumpled shirt. 

"Right then, let's go round up the others," you instructed, then set off in search of the demons you'd missed desperately. 

Seeing them arranged on various pieces of furniture in Diavolo's study was sort of heartbreaking for you. It reminded you of your youth, though you supposed you were, in fact, in your youth once again. It also reminded you of just how young these demons were, despite the centuries they had on you. They'd grown so much over the course of your lifetime you were almost unsure where to begin with this timeline's set.

"MC!" Mammon bounded towards you, almost knocking you over in the process. Well, you guessed they weren't so different after all. 

Next came Asmodeus and Levi, the former attempting to crush you with the force of his love and the second pulling away as soon as he reached towards you, face entirely red. Beel scooped all of you up in one giant hug, then set you down happily. Satan wandered over faking nonchalance, but dragged you into his arms for a deep embrace.

"Does this mean you're the official human representative?" Satan inquired. You looked to Diavolo, who nodded slightly.

"I guess so," you grinned. "Does that mean I outrank you guys? I mean, there's only one official human representative, but seven of you. That automatically means I'm less expendable."

Diavolo laughed heartily. "You are invaluable, MC."

"It's great to have you back, MC," Mammon laughed, then shut his mouth. "Not that I care about you or anything. I'm just saying that, uh, my brothers wouldn't stop bothering me about you so, yeah," he finished lamely. 

You didn't have the heart to tease him. Just seeing him act like this was endearingly sentimental. 

"I'm glad to be back," you nodded. You weren't sure if you meant it yet.


	3. a fatal kiss, angel

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"What do you mean?" Asked a bewildered Diavolo. Beside him was an equally confused Barbatos, though he hid it well.

"I mean _they're gone._ They died, and instead of coming here, as they were meant to, all we've found of them is God," Lucifer answered through gritted teeth. He took a moment to compose himself. This kind of attitude would get him nowhere.

"Have you searched the house yet?"

"I sent Satan, Levi, and Belphegor. Hopefully, they'll find something that can lead to MC's whereabouts."

Barbatos frowned. Diavolo nodded at him, signaling him to speak.

"I fear that MC may be long gone of this world," he announced. "The MC you have known for years and the MC that originally resided in this timeline became one that fateful night Belphegor was released from his room, as you all may remember."

The remaining demon brothers exchanged glances. Truth be told, they'd never given it much thought. After MC's miraculous resurrection, they'd been more focused on the resulting Lillith reveal. 

"Wait, are you saying MC isn't from this timeline?" Mammon questioned.

"No. The MC from this timeline is dead. Was dead long before now. I attempted to make this timeline the sole reality, although it's becoming apparent that I didn't fully succeed." Barbatos looked to Diavolo for permission to continue, to which he was met with a nod. "Time is a fickle thing. It won't be manipulated for long. It is my belief that, in order to set time back on track, MC was intercepted before they could reach the afterlife and was taken back to their original timeline."

"Does that mean we'll never see them again?" Beelzebub's face was grim.

"Not exactly," a wicked gleam shone in Barbatos' eye, "it'll take some maneuvering, but I'm confident we can bring them back."

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

"Can you all catch me up on what's going on again? It's been a...while, to say the least," MC grimaced. Barbatos had agreed that even if the demon brothers knew of their second life, it probably wouldn't screw up the timeline, though it never hurt to be cautious. Perhaps they'd reveal all soon, but solving the matter at hand was most important at the moment.

"Belphegor has been imprisoned for treason. You were sent back to the past," _right, the past. Except, it wasn't really the past, was it?_ "to determine who, or what, set him free in the first place."

"Well," MC racked their brain, "I don't think it was me." _This time._ "Even though that had been one of my goals, I hadn't visited Belphie in a while. Maybe...Lillith?"

Lucifer pressed his lips together tightly and several brothers looked away. It seemed her name was still a little taboo here. You understood; they hadn't had the years your ( _not "your",_ you had to remind yourself) version had to digest the information that Lucifer had kept secret.

"Why don't we pay a visit to Belphie, hmm?" You offered. Your deal with Diavolo remained intact, as it was, and so the time for Belphegor's freedom was drawing near. Crowned with your new title and lifetime of experience, you were ready to complete this family just as you had in the other timeline.

At their core, they were the same, and at yours, you were too. 

"A family reunion!" Belphie joked weakly at the sight of the group heading towards him. So far, the brothers had all visited him in turn, though the faces he saw most were Beel's, predictably, and Lucifer's.

You couldn't help but smile when you saw him. An image of the Belphegor you were well-acquainted with overlay the one before you. _At least this one didn't try to kill you_ , you mused. _Yet_.

"MC's back! Did you have a nice rest, Belphie?" Inquired Beel. 

"Yeah, yeah, I did," Belphie answered, eyes meeting yours. "I had the most _interesting_ dreams."

You furrowed your brows, unsure of where this was going.

"You look different, my love."

The members of the House of Lamentation reeled, you included. 

"It's official, he's completely lost it!" whispered Levi.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"I've managed to establish contact. Now, it's all up to you Belphegor," spoke Barbatos. As the youngest of the family, Belphie was typically underestimated. Smarter demons knew that his power lied in dreams–that he was ruthless and could tear you apart from the inside without ever having to lift a finger.

Belphegor was snuggled into Beel's side, quickly becoming unconscious.

The room was anxious, to say the least. Mammon was grumbling and pacing around the room, to the annoyance of everyone else. Levi couldn't stop sighing and Satan was drinking tea like there was no tomorrow. Asmodeus was picking apart their antics. 

Diavolo and Lucifer had left earlier. The Devildom needed its ruler, so it had to be business as usual. He couldn't be alone, so Lucifer went with him in Barbatos' stead, even if it was clear that neither wanted to leave such a precarious situation.

Belphegor navigated the dreamscape easily. This was his world just as much as the oceans were Leviathan's. 

A thread appeared, trailing from his finger to a bright white area that he could not see beyond. He figured that was what Barbatos meant when he said he'd established contact. So he let it tug him towards the light, and stepped in confidently.

He woke with a start.

Sitting up, he looked around and determined he was being held in a cell in Diavolo's castle. He hadn't had the pleasure of this experience in his timeline, but he knew the building well and had made more than enough personal trips down to the dungeon to recognize these walls.

Footsteps, coming from down the hall. A large group.

Well, no time like the present. 

"A family reunion!" he joked when they came into view. It was probably funnier to him.

"MC's back!" cheered Beel, ignoring his words. MC? Where? "Did you have a nice rest, Belphie?"

"Yeah, yeah I did," he responded absently, searching for those familiar eyes. Gotcha. "I had the most _interesting_ dreams," he purred. That delicious confusion spread over his human's features. It was strange to see such a young version of the human he'd known for so long. It brought back so many memories... "You look different, my love."

The way you jumped, shocked, sent tingles down his spine. Levi said something, but it didn't matter.

"Belphie? Is that _you_?" You emphasized, coming closer. 

"In the flesh, MC," and _oh,_ the way he said your name, you knew. That was undeniably him. 

He grimaced, feeling pinpricks of pain bouncing in his skull. It seemed he was overstaying his welcome.

"I can't stay long, but know that we miss you dearly." He grit his teeth. 

You reached out, concerned. "Please, send them my love." He grasped onto your hand like a lifeline, but his grip was getting stronger. Too strong. You hid your wince. You leaned towards where his head was resting against the bars of the cell, felt your lips meet his forehead.

"Will you...return?" He gasped out. 

By the time you opened your mouth to answer, he was out cold.


	4. stay a second longer, precious

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"Fuck!" Belphegor cursed upon waking, startling his older brothers. Levi fell to the ground from where he'd been sitting in the corner, scrolling anxiously.

"I take it things didn't go well?" Satan commented drily. 

Angrily, but quickly cooling down, Belphie attempted to burrow deeper into Beel's side. A large hand came up to gently stroke the hair out of his eyes. 

Huffing, he mumbled, "I met them. They were with us. Well, _you_ , considering I was locked up in Diavolo's dungeon."

Barbatos frowned, "I believe that the number one rule was to stay away from the other inhabitants of the timeline."

"Tough shit, Barbatos." Mammon tried to stifle his laughter, unsuccessfully. "It's not like I chose to be imprisoned. Was I just supposed to let them slip away? Again?"

"At least tell me you _tried_ to act like their original Belphegor."

The silence that followed was answer enough. Barbatos gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep!" Mammon vigorously shook Belphie. "You have to tell us what happened first. And don't leave anything out!"

So Belphegor recounted their conversation. Told them how MC had returned to their younger self. Cue the waterworks.

"They said they loved us!" Asmodeus sobbed, clutching onto Satan. Mammon wiped his eyes with the sleeve of Beel's shirt. 

"How could you miss the most important part?" Levi wailed. 

"It's not like I wanted to!" Belphegor refuted. "It's already a miracle I lasted that long. You don't know how hard it is to win against yourself. He was kicking me out of his head." 

"Still!" Mammon insisted. 

"You guys are utterly unreasonable," Belphie groaned, turning over and going to sleep.

"No one's ever accused us of having sense," Satan muttered.

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

"Um, what just happened?" Asked Levi, who seemed to be live-tweeting (or whatever the Devildom version of Twitter was). Lucifer grabbed his phone and pocketed it, then turned to you. 

"A great question. MC, care to explain?"

You gulped. Time with him–with all of them–had made you effectively immune to threats and glares and everything in between, but being on the receiving end of his expectant glare was rarely fun.

You hadn't wanted to reveal the full extent of your alternate life just yet. The wound was still too fresh, too raw. You also feared they'd feel like replacements: they were startlingly fragile for such ancient beings.

You let out a breath. You knew they were too curious for their own good, and that your story would be pried out of you. Still, you wanted to hold off, "Let's talk later. We have more pressing issues at the moment." You gestured towards the now-open cell.

As had been the terms of the agreement, Belphie was a free demon. You hoped he didn't hate humanity quite as much as the other him, otherwise you were going to have your hands full.

Beel had long since gathered his twin into his arms, and was now striding towards the exit. "Let's go home."

Diavolo, for what it was worth, excused you all from breaking house arrest (a crime you barely remembered committing) and bid everyone good night. You'd be visiting him again soon enough, you supposed. It was strange the way you interacted with magic: how you never quite felt its effects the way you were meant to. You invoked Diavolo's curiosity, a dangerous thing.

You could feel the headache coming on already.

As you approached the familiar-but-not-quite residence, you couldn't help but grin. Oh, how it felt good to be able to walk in by yourself, without the need for an arm to lean on as you hobbled in on aged legs. You could almost pretend that everything had gone as planned: that you were returning to the arms of the ones you loved after a long life lived topside. That they were going to welcome you cheerfully just behind those closed doors.

Your fingers closed around the handle. You rubbed, searching for telltale scratches that hadn't been made yet.

Lucifer opened the door, pushing past you, though not particularly rudely. He headed immediately for the library, where you'd both had that nasty confrontation. Everyone followed.

In the most graceful version of a flop you'd ever seen, Lucifer settled himself into a large cushioned chair, rubbing at his temples. 

"Come sit here, darling!" You looked over to see Asmodeus patting his lap.

"No way! Sit over here!" Mammon interjected, glaring at the suggestive eyes Asmo was giving you. You simply hummed and sat in the only other one-person chair, avoiding the conflict entirely. You were too old for this shit. The two frowned and Mammon looked very close to lobbing a decorative pillow at his younger brother's head.

"As much as I'd love to see this play out," drawled Satan, effectively bringing them to a halt, "I'd rather wait to sort through the rest of this tomorrow. It's been something of a long day."

"Yes, I absolutely need my beauty sleep," Asmodeus yawned daintily. "And so do you all, by the looks of it."

Lucifer looked like he wanted to disagree briefly, before swallowing whatever he was about to say. Instead, he nodded, and told them to get some sleep, before leaving to his own bedroom. You hoped he'd do the same, but you knew him too well to pretend for a moment that he wasn't going to be kept up for hours thinking about what his actions today meant. What they could lead to. You half-wished you could follow him, could stay with him, could hold him. 

But he didn't know you.

So you forced yourself to turn the other way and took purposeful steps towards the bedroom you hadn't slept in in years–months–days–hours. You tried to tell yourself that this was home.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Mammon was in your room again. He slept there more than he did his own bed these days, bundled up tightly in sheets that barely smelled like you.

The other brothers came and went. Sometimes, he'd wake to an armful of drooling Leviathan or an almost-too-close-for-comfort Asmodeus. Beelzebub and Belphegor liked to slip in sometimes, the twins clutching to his sides tightly. Satan sometimes curled up at the edge of the bed. Even Lucifer had his moments, and the others would find him sitting where the wall met the bed, eyes closed.

It was nice, he thought. This family of his that had taken so long to grow into each other. That he could sleep holding his younger brothers, and that they could feel secure with him, was testament enough to their maturity. 

He'd once overheard Lucifer say as much to Diavolo; that they were closer to rightful rulers than they'd ever been before–had held that snippet of conversation near and dear to his heart. He took it out and replayed the words on days he didn't much feel like a lord.

A little sob pushed its way out of his throat. 

If the price for this family was you, then...then...

Well, he wasn't quite ready to give either of those up. He wasn't the Avatar of Greed for nothing. If he couldn't have it all, then what was the point? He'd spent lifetimes honing his craft. Yeah. Mammon _would_ have his cake and eat it too.

And there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.


	5. the warmth of your eyes, sugar

_First Timeline - Original MC_

It felt like cheating, you thought, even though everything was out of your control. You felt like too much and not enough all at the same time.

You weren't the same person they'd said goodbye to, that was for sure. You were disjointed; awkward among them. Sure, they were fond of you. A special little human that they could pull around and play with.

They'd grown as attached to you as they would a favorite toy. Even when they told you that you were one of them–part of the family–you knew, ultimately, you were just a blip in their existence. Perhaps a crush they'd think about a thousand years from now and cringe at.

But it was different for you.

You'd grown old with them, had made countless memories and forged a place for yourself nestled between them. Your picture hung among theirs in the hallowed halls of this house. Traces of you lingered in the corners of their rooms.

Here, you had only a guest room to call yours. (The irony was not lost on you.)

Belphegor's last question rung in your head. Should you attempt to form the same bonds? To save the brothers from themselves and bring them together the way you knew you could? Or would you keep them at a distance, out of a strange loyalty to another set?

If he had stayed to hear your answer, what would you have said?

For now, you contented yourself with memories, those of the exchange program blurring together until you weren't sure which took place where. They all belonged to you, though.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Being here was painful. Lucifer hardly left his study, and no one had seen so much as a blue hair on Levi's head for a week. Asmodeus spent his days shopping and his nights somewhere the others didn't care to think about. Mammon was falling into old habits again. Satan read and reread until the words smeared together on the pages and kept going still, the words long committed to memory. Belphegor slept in the garden, becoming one with the stone statues.

Beelzebub wandered the halls.

He was no stranger to loss; none of them were, really. However, he remembered more than most what it'd felt like to have the rug ripped out from under you. What it felt like falling from grace not once, but thrice.

He hated it. But he knew this pain, so he welcomed it back like an old friend.

The others, he saw, couldn't help but long for escape. He couldn't fault them for it–it was like the walls themselves leaked _you._ Or, rather, the absence of you. Your portrait, looking every bit as regal as the rest of them wanted to be. The cheap plastic eggs you hid thirty years ago as a joke for some human holiday, tucked in every possible place and then some, that they were still finding to this day. The ugly blankets you'd made during your crafting phase, strewn over the couches.

He plucked an appallingly hot pink egg from its dusty hiding place. A note was nestled inside. 

" _You found me! Whoever's reading this, I L O V E Y O U ^^ (Unless it's Lucifer, in which case fuck off. So what if I wanna go swimming in the River of Souls?? That's MY choice! jk, don't kill me i love you too i guess.) xxxxx MC"_

Tears were leaking out of Beel's eyes. Was he laughing or crying? He wasn't sure anymore.

Arms snaked around his back. A light kiss at the base of his neck. A familiar hum of a human world lullaby.

When he turned, there was no one.

~~

_Second Timeline - Original MC_

You weren't sure if you were dreaming. 

You'd decided to wander around before your big talk with the boys. It wouldn't do to stay cooped up, wallowing in your sorrow no one could understand. You tried not to pick apart every difference. You avoided the portrait hall entirely.

It was on your way back that you encountered Beel. He was stooped over something you couldn't see, shaking. Such a tragedy, to see the gentle giant cry.

So you hugged him. He may not have been _your_ Beel (but could you call _any_ of them yours?) but a sad Beel was something you didn't stand for. Not when you had anything to do with it. 

You remembered the way he used to curl into you, wrapping your arms around him from behind. How you gave him soft goodnight kisses to the back of his neck as you drifted off to sleep. You couldn't help yourself from leaning forward and pressing your lips to his skin lightly.

Then he disappeared and you were left standing like a fool in the middle of a dark hallway, arms grasping at something that wasn't there.

"Yo, MC!" Mammon called to you from behind. "What're you doing, standing there like that?"

You took a deep breath and willed your eyes to stay dry. Pretending to stretch, you responded, "oh, I was just...walking around. I was feeling kinda stiff."

His arm wrapped around your shoulders, the weight distracting you briefly. "Whatever. Let's head down together, yeah?"

"Yeah," you affirmed softly, letting him guide you down familiar stairs to a familiar kitchen to an unfamiliar-familiar group of brothers.

"MC," Lucifer acknowledged as you took your seat. "I hope you had a nice rest?"

You looked at him. You were sure your eyes were red-rimmed. He wasn't looking much better, black clothing paired with dark circles. "Yup. You?"

"Quite," he paused. "And how are you feeling, Belphie?" He directed towards the youngest of his brothers.

Belphegor ignored him. A nudge from Beel had him replying with a curt nod. Lucifer took that as a sign to get on with the discussion.

You reminded yourself that the catch-up went down differently here. Rather than a dramatic retelling of Lilith's rebirth as a human after you took the place of your own dead body, Lucifer had blown up at you and the reveal had resulted in family healing. In fact, it seemed that while you were away, they'd taken the time to tell Belphegor and he'd cooled down his hatred for humanity considerably. 

Since he wasn't literally murdering you on sight, you counted it as a win.

What they didn't know, however, was your connection to Lilith. 

You had your own doubts, actually, about your supposed lineage. After all, you didn't hear the words from her own disembodied mouth. You'd heard them from Diavolo. Although you may have developed a rather close friendship, it was naive to pretend he was as jolly as he presented himself. 

No, he had the mind of a ruler. He liked it best when he could control everyone within the palm of his hand. He'd do anything to achieve his goals: if that meant charging one of his oldest friends with treason or lying about a family tree, so be it.

Seven sets of eyes turned to you, expectant.

You swallowed. Then, you began to speak. 

The story of those hours–decades–you'd spent away from them unfolded. You didn't dare go too in-depth, though whether that was for your own sake or for the wellbeing of the timeline, you didn't say.

You kept it short and simple. The less they knew, the better. _I never stepped back through the door._

_Why?_

_It no longer existed. Not to me, anyways. Perhaps its power faded, or perhaps I simply forgot._ ( _Perhaps there were other forces at play_.)

_Then how are you back?_

_I died at the end of a long, human life. Then, I wound up back here, before you, never having aged a day._

That sent shockwaves throughout the group, though none more so than Mammon, who was being terribly dramatic about it all. (What do you mean you _died?_ What do you mean, you died _twice?!_ )

_What was all that with Belphegor, then?_

_I believe they somehow made contact through him._

They didn't bring up the rest of the conversation. You were grateful for that.

By the end of it all, they were left with more questions than answers, but didn't pry too much. It was probably the look on your face that made their words die down.

They did want to confirm your story, though. Usually with random questions, thrown in here and there. It was difficult, considering you knew them better than themselves, at this point.

_How does Lucifer like his coffee?_

_He pretends he likes it black, but really, he puts two sugars and an obscene amount of cream. Unless it's one of_ those _days, in which he'll just drink straight from the pot._

_Is Henry 2.0 still around?_

_Unfortunately, Henry disappears forty-something years from now._ (You don't explain that he never got a replacement. That he'd taken to dubbing you Henry 3.0 when he thought you couldn't hear.)

_What are the winning lottery numbers this year?_

You should've seen that one coming. 

You found yourself laughing as their questions became increasingly more ridiculous, and thought this wasn't so bad.


	6. stars fall from your lips, darling

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

There was something to be said about forgiveness.

Even as Heaven's favorite, their childhoods were strangely devoid of this concept. It seemed only humans would get the pleasure of this blessing. They were raised strictly; held in higher regard. No second chances.

This was what Lucifer thought of when he fell. 

Not during the Great Celestial War–the first time, when he realized that, for all his beautiful names and reputation and appearance, he was looking for something that he was never going to be granted. His father's forgiveness.

It was strangely freeing, after a while. That no matter what he did, he'd still be held in contempt, so why bother at all? Why _not_ go out with a bang?

So here he was, hailed as the most powerful of the seven lords. _The_ Avatar of Pride.

Except, it was beginning to feel the same way as it had in the Celestial Realm. 

He was loathe to admit that he truly feared the consequences of somehow disappointing Diavolo. Would he lose the respect he'd managed to garner from the prince? Would his family have to atone for his mistakes the same way they'd followed him as he rebelled against their father? Would they be stuck in the same binding chains that held him for eternity?

He'd went along with Diavolo's every desire. Threw himself into the ridiculous exchange program; locked his own brother away to protect him while bearing the weight of his resentment.

Then, you came, and turned the Devildom on its head.

He'd never been particularly fond of humanity, as any record of him would tell you. Never one to frolic among them like the triplets or admire their creations like the rest of the brothers. They were a reminder of what he'd lost–of what he'd never had.

But _you_. You were stubborn and mischievous and never took anything seriously. You were kind and affectionate and everything he wanted to be. You saw the cracks in his family and devoted yourself to piecing them back together. It was no wonder his brothers fawned over you.

Unfortunately, humans were quite fragile. 

He watched, helpless, as you breathed your last rattling breath in Mammon's arms, and was reminded of what it felt like to fall.

When you walked forward, out of the shadows, he very nearly wanted to cry in relief and beg for your forgiveness. But he'd never gotten it before, so all he could do was swallow the words and pretend that he was only concerned for the last of Lilith's line.

It was late that night when you knocked at his door, cradled his face in the palm of your hand and kissed his forehead with all the unspoken forgiveness in the world. You slept in his arms and he kept a hand on your back, counting each steady rise and fall until morning.

He was going to bring you back, no doubt about that. The problem lied in whether you _wanted_ to.

Did he dare ask your forgiveness again?

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

When you'd first arrived in the Devildom, the demons had taken little note of you. From what they could see, you weren't anything much. Just one out of billions that happened to be chosen. 

You weren't anything like the other exchange students. Definitely not like Simeon or Luke, and not quite like Solomon, either, who was a powerful sorcerer. They'd made some bets behind Lucifer's back over how long you'd last. (Lucifer knew, of course, as they never could manage to hide anything from him. It was half the reason he'd assigned Mammon as your babysitter.)

Yet, you, the weakest of them all, did what many, many humans had tried and failed. You made pacts with not one, but _five_ (unbeknownst to them, you'd actually made seven) demon lords. 

Solomon may have had magic, but you had charm, and you wielded it expertly.

What's more, despite the overwhelming power you now had, you never once used them for ulterior motives. Solomon, the slimy magic man he was, took full advantage of the pacts that decorated his skin, but you treated them as simply as friendship bracelets.

Even Diavolo was wary of you, though he hid it behind joviality. Lucifer even more so, worried about the power going to your head; of his brothers being forced into servitude. He never said anything to them, but he was _always_ vigilant. It wouldn't be the first time he had to kill to protect those he loved (and he _did_ love them, though it pained him to admit it sometimes).

All he could do was hope that his brothers hadn't made the wrong choice in trusting you.

" _Hey, Satan_ ," Mammon began, speaking the low growls of Infernal, " _have you seen my glasses anywhere_?"

Before Satan could answer, you'd replied by way of pointing to the top of Mammon's head, where his trademark sunglasses rested. Mammon celebrated, but turned to you, puzzled.

"Hey, how'd you know what I was sayin'?"

You, having just woken from a nap right before Mammon walked in, were a bit muddleheaded, to say the least. "What do you mean? _You_ taught me, Mammoney."

"Uh, no I didn't?" Now he was unsure. _Did_ he teach you Infernal? He didn't think so...

"Yeah, you did," you frowned. "Two years after the exchange program. Said you were tired of me not listening to you."

Satan and Mammon exchanged glances.

"No, wait," you shook your head, "sorry, wrong...time..." Mammon patted the top of your head awkwardly in consolation, a weak imitation of the comfort you often gave him. You smiled up at him.

You thought it'd probably be easier to adjust if you weren't friends with beings that didn't age. Come to think of it, you were the only one out of every participant in the exchange program that had the privilege of growing old. Lucky bastards.

Simeon and Luke, frequent visitors of yours in the other timeline, had been rather appropriately saddened by your approaching death, though you knew Luke was busy compiling a list of Celestial tourist attractions for him to show you around. 

Luke was older than you. _Much_ older, even as he appeared childlike. Not old enough to be around during the Celestial War, but he certainly had centuries on you. That didn't stop you from treating him like a younger brother.

You'd never had children of your own. Never found someone to settle down with, either. It would've been too complicated to explain your unique circumstances, what with all manner of demons and angels popping by your humble abode.

The little angel, although he could be a brat, had become attached to you. You wondered if it had to do with the same daddy issues the demon brothers were plagued with. God didn't seem very well-versed in the art of healthy parenting. 

Together, you'd spent countless hours in the kitchen, baking to your hearts content. As you delved into your later years, you probably looked like a sweet grandparent spending time with your lovely grandchild. If anyone had looked closer at the ingredients you were using, you'd probably be carted off to prison. Belladonna scones and nightshade tarts were favorites among your guests. 

On your seventieth-something birthday, Luke had bestowed upon you a blessing in an effort to woo you over to the light side. (At that point, you'd been seriously considering what to do with your afterlife for quite some time. Normally, people weren't given a choice, but you figured with your connections, you could have a larger hand in your fate than most.)

" _Now, you can speak the divine language of the Celestial Realm!_ " he'd cheered as you tested out the lilting notes. They were beautiful, but harsh. You didn't tell him, but his blessing also allowed you to finally speak Infernal properly, rather than continue to use that sad mimicry you'd been stuck with for years.

You let him teach you the songs and poems of the angels. Danced in your living room to the sound of your voices. Coaxed him to sleep with a hushed children's song.

Alone in your room, you spoke to yourself, switching from your native language, to Infernal, to Celestial, then back again. It had been a delightful surprise to see you still retained your blessing. Your working theory was that it had more to do with your soul than your physical body.

As you messed around by yourself, you didn't hear the approaching footsteps. Or sense the pressed ears against your flimsy door.


	7. hearts crumble in your fingers, lover

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Asmodeus checked his DDD. It was unhealthy, he knew, but it was like he couldn't stop. If it had been a regular day, he'd be chatting with you, happily flirting and imagining the day you'd finally come down and join them. You'd spend all your time with him, obviously, and your days would be merry and your nights merrier.

He'd been ever so patient these past years. So why was he being punished?

He opened his messages and pressed on your icon–a picture he'd taken of you from the days of the exchange program. Your jaw rested on his bare chest, your eyes gazing up at the camera, a natural smile painted on your lips.

(5 days ago)

**Asmo:** i miss you more than words can say ♡♡

 **MC:** aww asmo 

**MC:** tell diavolo and lucifer to lift my visitation ban!!!

 **Asmo:** if only it were that easy, darling :(

 **Asmo:** the things we could do, were you beside me...

 **MC:** i have a feeling that i wouldn't be able to do any of them 

**MC:** i'm not exactly the spry young thing i was when we met

 **Asmo:** don't worry, you're the cutest geriatric i've ever seen 

**MC:** ... thanks ...

(4 days ago)

 **MC:** asmoooo come visit me >:(

 **Asmo:** funnily enough, i was just getting ready to see you

 **Asmo:** it's like we have a special connection, hmm?

 **MC:** of course we do

 **MC:** now hurry up!!

 **Asmo:** so impatient...reminds me of the most delicious times we shared...

 **MC:** on second thought, don't visit

 **Asmo:** leaving now xxx

(3 days ago)

 **Asmo:** lucifer just broke the news! congratulations, you're going to hell!! 

**Asmo:** i absolutely CAN'T WAIT!!!

 **Asmo:** MC??

 **Asmo:** are you ignoring me??

 **Asmo:** ...did i do something?

 **Asmo:** please talk to me, love.

 **Asmo:** i can't sleep unless i hear from you. and you know how much i detest losing my beauty sleep...

 **Asmo:** i'll go see you tomorrow.

He scoffed. They'd all been such idiots to think that they'd be allowed any sort of permanent happiness. No matter how impatient they were to have you join them in the Devildom, it was better to have you alive and topside than to not have you at all. It'd only been days without you and the entire house seemed to be going through withdrawal, suddenly cut off from the drug that was you.

Solomon walked in, handing him a mug and plopping down on the bed beside him. This was his place, after all, despite Asmodeus' making himself at home. It was rather normal for the Avatar of Lust to seek out the sorcerer, usually for comfort of the physical variety.

These days, Solomon saw Asmo huddled in his sheets, clutching his DDD as if he was afraid that would somehow disappear, too. 

Asmodeus took a sip. It was the worst tea he'd ever tasted. He didn't know tea could be fucked up that badly. He took another sip. It was somehow worse. 

While the drink was vile, it served as a rather good distraction from his moping.

"If you wanted to kill me, you didn't have to do it with tea," he murmured against the rim of the cup. Even the smell was noxious. "What a boring way to go."

"What do you mean 'kill'? The box said this would cheer you up?" Solomon went and retrieved the relatively standard, if not cheap-looking, cardboard box that held the tea bags. It had smiley-faces on it.

"Solomon, there's literally only two steps. One: hot water. Two: tea bag. All the hard work is already done for you. I don't understand how you got it like this."

"There's instructions?" Solomon exclaimed. Asmodeus put down the mug. That was enough distraction for today. 

Back to wallowing. Maybe a little brainstorming, if he was feeling up to it. 

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You had a game plan. It'd taken a while for you to shift back into gear, but you decided you weren't going to squander this opportunity.

What you had was basically the greatest walkthrough of all time. You were going to speedrun the hell out of the game that was your life, and then you were going to see about hightailing it back to the other timeline.

Levi would've called it cheating. You preferred to think of it as setting a new high score.

Since the night you stumbled into Barbatos' bedroom, you hadn't received any word from the castle at all. No answer as to whether traveling through timelines was feasible or even possible for you. Whatever. You'd figure it out as you went along. 

"Coffee?" Satan offered as you shuffled into the kitchen sleepily. You grabbed your mug and let him fill it halfway, then took tiny sip. Devildom coffee was far stronger than what you used to drink, but you'd grown fond of it over the years.

Lucifer was next to join you two. Satan had decided to be nice that morning, and poured the last of the dark drink into Lucifer's coffee-stained #1 Dad mug (he'd received it as a gift one year, anonymously, and used it every morning since). If he dropped a few coffee beans in there, well, oops. 

Levi made a surprise appearance as well, but he'd paid you three no attention, consumed in the latest comic adaptation of _TSL: Oh No, I've Returned to My Original Timeline After I Died in the Second One, And I Don't Know How I Feel About It_. It was thrilling, apparently.

Mammon showed up next, dropping nearly all of his weight onto you from behind. 

His head on your shoulder, he yawned, "can I get some coffee?"

Satan gestured to the now-empty pot. "Sorry, we're all out."

Mammon groaned, a complaint on his lips. Before he could get started, you pressed your mug to his mouth, and he eagerly took your cup into his hand, drinking greedily.

Levi squealed, and the four of you turned to look at him. He was bright pink. "That was totally an indirect kiss! That's, like, the greatest budding-romance trope ever." He huffed, "It's so unfair. Why's _Mammon_ always so lucky?"

"What're you talking about?" Mammon questioned as he drained the last of your coffee, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You gave him time to process Levi's words. "–oh! Uh," he was beginning to turn the same shade of pink, "of course MC'd want to kiss me! I'm their first, so it's only natural, anyways."

This was getting out of hand. You looked to Satan and Lucifer for help, but they seemed content watching this all unfold. Figures the one time they're united is to watch you squirm.

Fine, you had experience with these kinds of squabbles anyways. "Levi, here's where I drank," you pointed to a spot on the rim, "and here's where Mammon drank," you turned the cup to point at another spot directly opposite. "No indirect kisses, I'm afraid." 

Levi was calming down, but you noticed how Mammon seemed to deflate. "Here's a direct one, though," you said as you rose on your toes and pecked Mammon's cheek. In your peripheral vision, you saw Satan choke and Lucifer's eyes widen.

Before Levi could go off on a rant again, you stepped to him and kissed his cheek, too. "There, now everyone's happy, right?" Satisfied, you left, humming to yourself. You turned briefly to wink at Pride and Wrath. That's right, no affection for demons that don't help you.

Asmodeus slipped in, and was met with the sight of two furiously blushing brothers cradling their cheeks tenderly, one blonde coughing his lungs out, and one Lucifer, laughing into his drink.

"What did I miss?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i've went and reworked some parts of the story, so i recommend reading through again (if you're someone who's been reading as i update. if you're binging this in one sitting right now, then welcome! you can probably ignore this message lol). you'll probably still get it if you don't go back and read, but it might be helpful for clarification. i realized as i was reading that there were a few contradictions...
> 
> that's all for my public announcement haha, hope you're enjoying the ride so far!


	8. one million bittersweet memories, baby

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Luke was having probably the worst day of his life. 

He'd shown up to your house for your weekly get-together, a bag of specially-procured Celestial flour in his arms. It was one of those special days where you two would finally get some alone time, devoid of all those pesky demons and without the company of any other angels.

He freed a hand to knock on your door; a special one that let you know it was your favorite angel outside. He'd waited and waited and waited. Surely, you'd heard him? You were probably just taking your sweet time to answer the door. He knocked again.

Maybe you'd fallen and couldn't get up? Broke a hip or something? (He didn't know much about humans, but he'd seen enough movies to know that was a common concern.)

So he broke in to your house through the window. At least he had the good sense to enter through the back so no one could see his body wriggling in. He'd be the laughingstock for a millennia if he was arrested for breaking and entering.

He straightened himself out and steeled himself to apologize for shattering your window. That is, after he found you, of course.

He'd been in your house without you before, but it felt different now. There was no sign of you anywhere; no note telling him you'd run out for last-minute ingredients or a missing jacket from the hooks by the door. The hound wasn't around either.

Something was very, very wrong.

He set the flour on the counter and set off to search every room. He found nothing out of the ordinary, and wasn't sure if he should be disappointed or relieved. He checked again.

Fine, he'd just get started without you. If you didn't even have the decency to give him a heads-up, then that was on you. One batch of cookies in the oven and another cooling on the table later found Luke seated on the couch. Any noise from outside had him rushing to the window, wishing for a glimpse of you.

Day turned to night. It was official: he was freaking out. Just where in the three realms were you?

He texted Simeon. He typed up a message to Michael, but thought the better of it and didn't send it.

He flew to the door in record time as soon as heard movement. It was Simeon.

"Are you alright, Luke?" The taller angel asked, concerned. Luke was busy burying his head into Simeon's middle. He hadn't realized how alone he'd felt until he showed up.

Simeon could feel a wet patch beginning to form where Luke's eyes met his clothes. He took that as a no.

"I don't–I don't know where they are!" Luke wailed, muffled. "I've b-been waiting so long, but they n-never came! We were supposed to m-make moonberry muffins today..."

Simeon, and likely every resident of their realm, already knew of their plans. It was all Luke would talk about for weeks. He'd been so terribly excited.

The older angel shot off a message to Lucifer. If it was something to do with MC, he would know. He watched the three little dots appear and disappear and appear again. A message popped up.

You were dead. 

And no one had thought to tell them.

He held Luke a little tighter. Smoothed the hair that had come free from underneath his white hat. Washed the mixing bowls in the sink and packed the cookies.

(" _We have to leave some here. Just in case they come back," Luke insisted. Simeon silently put some aside and sealed them tightly in a stray container.)_

Then, Simeon gathered the weeping boy angel in his arms, and sang. 

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You were singing to yourself again. It was awfully comforting, the sound of your own voice effortlessly dipping into the high trills of the angels to the low tones of the demons. You made it up as you went along, though you occasionally drew upon songs ingrained in you through Luke or Levi.

There were few who knew both languages, none, as far as you were aware, human. You relished in your unique talent, grateful that you had something to definitively call your own. In a world where you weren't sure who or where or when you were sometimes, this, at least, was a constant.

Over the past few days, you'd somehow acquired an audience. Granted, they didn't understand a word coming out of your mouth. Still, they looked like they enjoyed the show you put on just for them.

You sat on the ground, propped up against the wooden frame of your bed. Little Demons scurried between your legs. Some rested at your feet, bobbing their tiny bodies to your songs. You held one particularly courageous Little D in your arms, petting them softly.

Lucifer had explained to you long ago that Little Demons were the bottom of the food chain. There was an abundance of them, but they mostly just existed to serve higher demons. The brothers each had amassed their own following, granting them certain affinities in exchange for their servitude.

The longer a Little D survived, the higher chance it had at rising in rank. Through careful observation, you realized that the demons with more humanoid appearances, or at least, the ability to present themselves as humanlike, were the highest demons. This was not to say the beastly demons weren't powerful–in fact, nearly everyone you encountered could probably squish you like a bug.

They would've, too, if you hadn't had the protection of de facto king Diavolo. (Though your connection to him attracted a host of other problems.)

The demon in your arms wriggled and you dropped it into your lap. It, along with the others, scurried beneath your bed, disappearing into the shadows.

A knock at your door. Definitely not Mammon, then, who preferred to barge in. Or any of the others, for that matter, seeing as "privacy" was not in their vocabulary. Lucifer, maybe? He liked to pretend to be respectful sometimes.

You weren't prepared to see Belphegor.

It wasn't that you didn't like him. In fact, quite the opposite. But you knew that how you felt and how he felt were two _very_ different things. You'd liked him in the other timeline, too, hadn't you? He clearly hadn't felt the same, considering he'd cut off your air supply (and not in the fun way).

Here, you were uncertain where you stood with him. The two of you had barely interacted with each other since he'd been released. There was no Lilith to bond you; no decades worth of friendship, either.

You thought, out of all of them, he was the most unpredictable. 

_Oh well_ , you figured, gesturing for him to come inside. _Wouldn't be my first bad decision._

"Sleep with me, MC."


	9. like a moth to the flame, angel

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You raised an eyebrow at the demon making himself comfortable on your bed. 

"I expected as much from Asmo, but you?" You'd determined over your many years of involvement with the supernatural that humor was often the best way to respond to confusing or potentially dangerous situations. You would've died long before you finished the exchange program (well, technically you did, twice) if you didn't shove all your trauma into a box and cover it up with humor.

God knows you wouldn't have ever been able to face Belphie again.

"Not like that," he groaned. You hadn't noticed before, but there was a certain ease with which he acted unlike that of the other Belphegor. The one you were well-acquainted with had been sickeningly sweet when he was first allowed to resume his position among his brothers. It'd been noticeably fake, at least, to you, even though his brothers refused to acknowledge it, all too happy to welcome their youngest back. He'd let the pretense drop, eventually, but that was a few years in the making.

This Belphie was looser–less hostile. Still dangerous, no doubt, but not so much that you would turn him away. 

"What prompted this, all of a sudden?" You drifted over and planted yourself at the edge of the bed, not yet sure of how to answer.

"It's just been a while since we've talked, you know? I do miss the time we spent together, even if it was short," he grinned, not all genuine, but enough to make you lower your defenses slightly.

"Why not go to Beel? He'd be thrilled to be with you."

"Yeah, but I can hang out with him anytime. It's hard to get ahold of you, for some reason. You're always off with my brothers." Before you could react, he grabbed you and pulled you under him, looking down at you with a lazy smirk. "Wasn't it fun, sneaking around behind their backs? When it was just the two of us for a few hours?"

You were very tempted to kick him in the dick, but decided against it. He'd killed you for less.

"I thought you hated humanity."

"I do. Sort of. It's complicated," he huffed. Clearly, he'd been trying to work through some stuff these past few days. Good for him. "Anyway, even if I hate humanity, that doesn't mean I hate _you_. You're my favorite human."

"That is an offensively low bar," you responded drily. "Now unhand me foul demon."

"Only if you promise to sleep with me."

You rolled your eyes. "You drive a hard bargain, but I suppose I have no choice." He released you and fell beside you instead. He didn't make any move to cuddle you or hold you to him, as you'd half-expected. Just lay there, eyes closed and so still he could've been dead.

Moments passed. 

"I miss it, sometimes. Being an angel," he whispered. "We were never our father's favorite, but Lucifer doted on us enough to make up for it."

As was typical of oldest siblings, Lucifer was stuck trying to fill a role he'd never signed up for. _But who could do the same for him? Shoulder his burden when he was overwhelmed?_

You hummed lightly to let him know you were listening. 

"Make no mistake, I would fall again in a heartbeat. How could I stay with the one who condemned my sister to death? I couldn't bear to remain in a place overflowing with memories of her."

Your mind wandered over to your other life. Did the ones you left behind feel the same? Was there no place untainted for them now?

He continued, "I often wonder what it would've been like if she'd lived. Fallen, like the rest of us, and became a demon, as we had. What was her sin? All she did was follow in our father's footsteps. Her only crime was loving that which she should not have loved."

His bitter words reminded you of distant conversations. You, leaning against the banister; him, cross-legged and looking at you through the carved door of his prison. Then, he'd bared only the surface of his heart, unwilling to divulge anything more. 

Now, he was spilling his deepest thoughts, as vulnerable as you'd ever seen him. 

"It's time to give up these useless desires. Up until now, I've been all too happy to hold on to the resentment, blaming humanity–blaming myself. I've been disgracing her sacrifice. She died and gave us freedom, and I've been wasting it on cursing gods who won't listen and hating the innocent. I'm _tired_."

You wanted to clap, but held yourself back for fear of ruining the moment. He turned to face you and you had to focus on restraining your happiness. 

"You...I don't know who you are. _What_ you are. Sometimes, you appear almost as inhuman as the rest of us, but then I blink, and you're as mortal as ever. Why is that?"

You had no answer. On more contemplative nights, you wondered whether you were truly human anymore. It didn't feel like it, though you'd never felt the switch. 

Belphie smiled; it didn't quite reach his eyes. He reached out to you, tucked you into his chest. 

You fell asleep to the sound of the angels dripping from a demonic tongue.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

This was certainly some bullshit. It'd been a week. _One whole week_. The longest you'd ever been out of their sight was, well, never. Even after you'd returned to the human world after your first year in the Devildom, demons trailed you, lurking in the shadows. Kept an eye on you.

You hadn't known this (or maybe you did, it was hard figuring out what you were and weren't aware of), but they'd saved your life more than once. 

Satan wondered what was taking so long. Surely, Barbatos, master of time, could pull you back just as easily as you'd been taken?

They hadn't had any contact with you beyond Belphegor's short conversation that night. Satan knew Belphie had been trying to replicate the connection, with little success. It seemed the alternate Belphegor was talented at keeping things out of his head.

Maybe it wasn't so much what _they_ were doing as what _you_ were doing. Belphie's unanswered question haunted him more than he'd like to admit. 

Had you grown tired of them? Had they done something wrong? Was this your way of escaping them?

It couldn't have been easy, being forced to live with demons against your will, always watching your back for the things that go bump in the night. Your life was in their hands ever since you were snatched from above ground. To know of the existence of Heaven and Hell, and be caught between them.

He glanced at the empty space beside him. Visions of you curling into his side as you both read each other's recommendations; sipping tea as you excitedly recounted the happenings of your favorite character. On certain days, he'd lay there, you reading aloud from a book on his chest. He missed the feeling of your heartbeat pounding against his. 

The way the beats seemed to synchronize, become stronger.

For a second, he thought he could smell your favorite shampoo. Then it was gone, and he was left only with his memories.


	10. bells ring when you smile, precious

_First Timeline - Original MC_

Your first order of business: rid Mammon of those absolutely horrendous witches. 

After your little heart-to-heart with Belphie, you'd woken to find him gone. You figured he was probably feeling embarrassed about how much of himself he'd given you, perhaps a bit conflicted (a _lot_ conflicted, if you were being honest). You noticed he'd tucked you in carefully under the covers, though, which made you smile to yourself.

Mammon had burst into your room unannounced, the consistent demon he was, then been summoned out in no uncertain terms by an unfortunately familiar coven less than an hour later.

You may have had your own pacts, but the way he was being treated sent shivers of rage up your spine. Last time, it'd taken you years to find a way to break their connection; not to mention the _decades_ you hadn't even known. For such a loudmouth, Mammon knew how to keep his secrets.

Which reminded you, maybe you needed to find them a family therapist. Keeping all of their emotions bottled up was most definitely not a healthy coping mechanism. 

In any case, you didn't need years or decades this time around. You had everything you needed.

Well, almost everything. Where was the best place to get carving tools, again?

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"I'm being hunted," Solomon sighed. For someone who was wanted dead or alive, he was rather nonchalant about it. 

Luke seemed alarmed, but Simeon just smiled and said nothing. 

"What for?" Luke inquired, eyes wide.

"For giving MC the Soup of Death. They named it, not me."

At that, Luke looked doubly alarmed and Simeon was suddenly worried that the young angel might throttle the sorcerer. He placed a hand on Luke's shoulder.

"You did what?" he screamed. 

Solomon carried on, effectively ignoring the cherub, "typical demons, always blaming someone else."

"I fear they may have a point, friend," Simeon commented, pleasant as always. "Taking a life is a sin, even if it's your own."

Solomon fixed Simeon with a look of disbelief, "you do know who we're talking about, right? The same person who literally _wants_ to go to hell after they die; the person who has sustained dubious relationships with _multiple_ devils?"

There was little Simeon could say to that. Drinking the potion may have actually been a calculated insurance that they'd be denied entrance through the Celestial gates. He didn't put it past them.

Luke had finally calmed down, but was looking dangerously thoughtful. "Are you saying...MC died from your cooking? I mean, your food has always been utterly disastrous–I don't think it deserves to be called food, actually–but I thought they were smarter than to put something you gave them into their mouth."

"You wound me, Luke. But, no, it wasn't my cooking that did them in, it was a potion. But I did put in a few more ingredients for taste...since we're friends."

"'For taste'? Are you sure you weren't enemies?" Luke frowned.

"That's funny, Asmo said almost the exact same thing, though I can't imagine why." 

Suddenly, a rift appeared in the ground, directly underneath where the sorcerer was sitting. 

"What the fu-!" Solomon exclaimed as he fell. Simeon and Luke watched as he disappeared. Simeon shrugged and hopped in with a grin. Luke didn't really want to, but followed anyways. What was the worst that could happen?

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

Satan walked in on you whistling happily as you etched ancient sigils into the handles of several wooden stakes. They were incredibly sharp, considering how crude they were. He looked around for any references you may have had lying around, but found none. 

He hesitated, but couldn't help but ask what you were doing.

You looked up at him, smiling, "I'm going on a witch hunt." You offered no other context. 

Satan lifted a finished stake carefully, inspecting the carvings. They were incredibly detailed and flawlessly done. 

"Why do you need all this, then?"

"See, the problem with killing witches is that they're so protected by their magic. There isn't one witch alive that hasn't casted at least twenty protection spells on themself–after all, they're still human. You could probably just wipe them out, though, no matter how much protection they had, considering you're one of the strongest demons ever."

You added the newly-finished stake to the small pile, then picked up another and began the process again. 

"These are designed to cancel out that magic."

"Why a wooden stake, though? You could probably do the same thing with a permanent marker and a metal knife."

"First of all, anyone who's anyone knows that markers are nothing compared to carvings. Second, and more importantly, the aesthetic. Yeah, drawings would work in a pinch, but might as well go all out."

"Can I come?"

You looked up at him. Reluctantly, "I guess so, just don't get in my way." You finished the final carving and gathered everything into your arms.

"Have you gotten Lucifer's permission to go topside?"

You froze. The one thing you forgot about. And you were doing so well.

He chuckled, "don't worry, I'll go ask."

You glanced at him, "don't be ridiculous, Satan. We both know that he'll say no to you before you can even open your mouth. Just give me a moment and I'll ask." You disappeared into your room and came out wearing one of Beel's worn jackets that nearly reached your knees.

He couldn't tell whether the sight of you like that was more adorable or annoying. (Since when were you either of those things in the first place?)

Predictably, the sight of Satan's face behind you had Lucifer prepared to disagree. However, you prevailed, whispered something Satan couldn't hear, and suddenly, you were off.

His approval didn't come without its drawbacks, though.

"Why does _he_ have to come, anyways?" Groaned an uncharacteristically whiny blonde.

"I could say the same to you," Lucifer cocked an eyebrow. 

"Neither of you _have_ to come, I simply extended the invitation out of politeness. You both accepted, and now here we are," you concluded. "In fact, maybe it'd be better if you weren't here. I'm mad at all of you for letting this get so far in the first place."

"Letting what get this far?" Satan asked. 

"Mammon's being horribly mistreated by those three witches, and has been for years now. I expected more from you, especially you Lucifer, than to let your brother be belittled like this."

"He needs to learn his lesson," Lucifer replied.

"Learn what lesson, exactly? Not to be compassionate, or kind? That good deeds reap punishment? What happened to protecting your family? This isn't the Lucifer I know."

"I am not the Lucifer you know."

That was a low blow. You didn't speak after that, though the way he'd evaded your questions didn't escape any of you.

An unassuming cottage stood in the middle of the forest. Cute puffs of smoke trailed from the chimney. For all intents and purposes, it looked straight out of a fairy tale.

_Yeah, Hansel and Gretel._

As you approached, you gestured for the two demons accompanying you to stand amongst the trees. They'd bring more trouble than help, at the moment. You could hear yelling as you stood in front of the door.

" _Mammon, you useless piece of shit, where's the money? You know, it's_ so _hard raising a child nowadays...what would you do if she starved because you didn't give us what you promised?_ "

You knocked on the door. A beautiful woman opened the door with a sickly-sweet grin, "can I help you, dear?"

Whoever started the rumor that witches were haggard old things had underestimated what powerful magic was capable of. 

"I've lost something."

There was something predatory in her gaze as she asked, "would you like to come in and take a look around?"

"How kind of you." 

The door swung shut behind you.


	11. home is beside you, honey

_First Timeline - Original MC_

She sat you down at a little wooden table in a kitchen bursting with greenery. It would have been beautiful if it didn't belong to the witch in front of you. She pretended to busy herself around the stove, then handed you a delicate teacup.

You inhaled the tiniest bit of steam. It smelled vaguely like one of Solomon's sleeping potions. When she wasn't looking, you dumped out the contents into one of the plants.

"So, what exactly are you looking for, darling?" she whispered into your ear, leaning over your shoulder and twirling a strand of your hair between her spindly fingers. 

"Oh, I think I found it," you answered, as you drove a stake through her heart. A gargled scream escaped her throat, alerting her sisters.

You'd hoped your aim would silence her immediately, but it seemed she had just enough breath to make your life a little more troublesome. You rolled your eyes, prodding her limp body with your foot. She was very nearly dead, you were sure. Probably wishing she was dead, at this point.

_Tough luck, bitch._

You could already hear the thunderous steps of her sisters approaching. 

Ah, there they were, just as gorgeously idiotic as you remembered. You savored the anger in their eyes as they registered their fallen member. You'd long armed yourself with twin stakes, one in each hand. Perhaps you wouldn't need all of them after all.

The plants around you shook and thorny vines lurched out to grab you. The dirt beneath your feet raised suddenly and dipped just as quickly. The very house seemed to rattle as their rage deepened.

As far as battlefields went, this was certainly exciting. 

You leapt nimbly across the furniture, making sure you didn't stay in one place for too long lest they manage to catch you with one of their more unsavory spells. This body of yours wasn't familiar with your tactics, but you forced your limbs to move the way you needed them to. 

Lightning fast, you whipped the wooden stakes at the two figures. Your weapons struck true (as you knew they would), and the attacks ceased. Three bodies littered the floor.

You stepped over one whose body lay in front of the door, then entered the hall. From what you could remember, all you needed to do was climb these stairs and...

Mammon's hands covered the little girl's ears gently, blocking out the noise. Her eyes were shut tightly, though she pried one open to look at the demon sitting in front of her every so often. 

"Mammon," you called softly. You'd already zipped up your jacket, hiding the dangerous items underneath. 

"MC?" he exclaimed, shocked. Wordlessly, you pinched his chin gently and tilted his head so you could inspect what looked like a light red handprint on his cheek. He pulled out of your grasp.

You'd talk to him later–explain why you'd come. Tell him everything he didn't know. 

For now, you focused on the trembling child; knelt to the ground and introduced yourself. Reassured her that she was safe, and that you'd made all the necessary arrangements for her to join her true family. 

"Can I ever come back?" She peeked through her fingers shyly. You couldn't help the fond smile that grew on your face. In your last life, she'd already been grown; hardened and cynical after a childhood of mistreatment. She'd been damn powerful, too, though she hid it from the witches as best she could.

After she was freed from their clutches, she'd taken over the cottage and you became a frequent visitor. As she healed, so, too, did the forest, which seemed to brighten and teem with life more and more every time you dropped by. You two would drink, sometimes tea (her peppermint tea was _to die for_ ) and sometimes...harder beverages (the times a demon brother or two had shown up to drag you home were not few).

But that was then. She was still young, and fairly untainted by the three witches who were now dead downstairs. Note to self: do not leave through the kitchen.

"Of course, darling," you nodded. She wasn't asking out of concern for the witches; rather, she'd fallen in love with the magic permeating this place. "Everything here is yours now, for you to with as you please." 

"Really?" She jumped, throwing her tiny arms around your neck. "Thank you!" She nearly fell in her haste to pull away from you, but you steadied her. "Um, what about... _them_?"

"Don't worry, it's all taken care of. You'll never have to see them again, alright?" At that, she beamed, then turned to Mammon, who was still quite shocked. 

"Did you hear that, Mr. Mammon? Now me _and_ you don't have to listen to those mean old ladies ever again!" She whispered conspiratorially in your ear, "They always told me not to say anything, but they were the _worst_."

The smile on your face wavered, shifted into something a little sadder. Yeah, you'd come early in this timeline, saved the both of them from the coven before anything could escalate too far. However, you couldn't forget the haunted gaze the older version had fixed you with when you barged in all those years ago, or the way Mammon had broken down on your shoulder as you carded your fingers through his white hair. 

Briefly, you wondered if you'd fucked up this timeline by using the knowledge you'd gained in the other. Would their lives unfold the same ways, regardless of what you did to stop it? Or would they become completely unrecognizable altogether? 

_I don't care_ , you decided, _if the price of preservation is allowing this shit to go on, then fuck it all._

"We should go," Satan announced from the doorway. "Lucifer will join us later–said he had some business to take care of first."

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"Nice to see you could join us," welcomed Lucifer pleasantly. Solomon had somehow managed to land on his feet, and so returned the sentiments with characteristic ease. Simeon and Luke were behind him, wings out, having used them to control their fall.

Mammon bit the inside of his cheek. This scene was bringing back memories that were quickly becoming painful.

"If you wanted to see me, all you had to do was ask," Solomon smiled. 

"Cut the crap," Levi scoffed, "what did you give MC?"

"I've given them a lot of things. You'll have to be more specific."

" _Solomon,_ " Lucifer growled–a warning.

"Fine, fine," he conceded, throwing his hands up in surrender. "I take it you were listening to our conversation anyways, so isn't asking a bit redundant?" 

"Humor us."

"Well, before you go all murder on me, I'll have you know they _asked_ me to make them that potion. Just your standard 'one-hit KO'; you know, one sip and game over."

"You've been playing too many video games," Beel noted.

"What else did you put in there?" Satan pushed.

"It really was so long ago...let me think," to the sorcerer's credit, he really was trying his best to remember. "Ah! Now, mind you, I made this long before anyone knew where MC was going to end up. They were constantly anxious, worried that things wouldn't work out for the better."

The demon brothers nodded. How could they forget? Their inevitable death weighed on everyone's minds, if not for personal reasons, then political ones. Diavolo, as much as he was a friend, was a leader first, and had been concerned not just about inter-realm tensions, but Devildom matters as well. There were a great many demons who still refused to acknowledge him as ruler, considering his father was technically king, even in the midst of a centuries-long slumber.

"So I put in a failsafe. One that would hopefully bring their soul to the place they wanted to go. No guarantee, of course, since it was mostly just experimental. They said it was better than nothing, though, so that was that."

"How could you give them something that dangerous? You didn't even know if it would work!" Levi shouted what they were all thinking.

"Look, despite how you all may feel about it, we were close, too. I warned them multiple times about the dangers of using that potion. I almost didn't give it to them at all, in fact. But, as I'm certain you all know, MC will do what they want to do, everything else be damned. If I didn't give it to them, they'd have just found someone else. Someone who wouldn't care _half_ as much as I do."

That was probably the most they'd ever heard him talk in one go. They recognized the look in his eyes; it matched theirs after all. Distress, hidden under a carefully constructed veil of normalcy.

As much as they hated to admit it, it seemed Solomon did have feelings after all. This was going to make bashing him harder, though not by much.

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why don't you three stay for the next few days? Your rooms in Purgatory Hall are still the way you've left them, albeit a bit dustier." There were questions yet to be answered.


	12. the hottest day and coldest night, beloved

_First Timeline - Original MC_

"So," Lucifer started. "How are your studies going?"

"Fine," replied Satan. "How's being Diavolo's bitch going?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes, more amused than angry. "I won't dignify that with a response." Just a few short months ago, Lucifer would've pummeled his youngest brother before the words could even leave his mouth. Satan was always itching for a fight anyways, and would've gladly fought back, happy to incite such a response.

Now, the words didn't bite the way they used to. They were more alike to the teasing remarks Lucifer's younger brothers often threw at each other. It was refreshing to be included in the sort of banter he hadn't allowed himself to partake in for the centuries following the fall.

For that, he had you to thank. You'd lifted the burden of long-held secrets and misunderstandings off of his aching shoulders, and set them all on their path to healing their fractured family. Truly, they'd needed the push you gave them, all too stubborn for their own good. 

The two of them watched as you willingly entered the witches' domain. Lucifer knew well enough what that dreadful coven was like–had known it when Mammon had come to him with that request several years ago. He'd hoped their demands would keep his schemes in check. 

You didn't see it that way, apparently. 

For a few moments, nothing happened. Then, the cottage began to shake violently, and they could see tendrils of the ivy that wrapped around the walls grow unnaturally, obscuring the windows. Barely noticeable tremors reached where they were standing.

Before Lucifer and Satan could jump in to help ( _why had they just let you go by yourself?_ ), everything stopped just as suddenly as it'd started. That meant one of two things: either you were dying a gruesome death (again) at the hands of a powerful coven or you had somehow incapacitated your three opponents in a way that meant they couldn't use their powers.

You were dead, for sure.

They raced to the entrance, throwing open the door so hard it flew off its hinges into the greenery behind them.

Satan was just about scream your name when a gloved hand slapped over his mouth. He glared at his oldest brother, then focused on generating enough spit to soak through the glove.

"Are you a child? That's disgusting." Lucifer peeled the cloth from his fingers, then rubbed his palm on Satan's shoulder. 

Satan wanted to retort, but got distracted by the absolute battlefield this quaint building had become. _Three bodies, none of them yours_ , he noted with relief. Sticking out of their chests were custom stakes; blood was spattered against the walls. 

"How the fuck did they do this?" It finally registered in his mind that _you_ were responsible for the absolute wreck before them. 

"Skillfully," Lucifer answered, pulling out a stake from the closest witch's body with a loud _squelch_. A shriveled black heart was impaled straight through like the world's grossest kebab.

"Don't act like this isn't a huge shock to you, Luci. We sent away our cuddly, gentle, couldn't-hurt-a-fly MC and got back a stone-cold professional killer."

It was difficult to reconcile the image of the innocent and vulnerable human they'd grown accustomed to with the one who'd easily taken on three experienced witches and won. Things were getting exciting, to say the least.

Also, the headaches Lucifer would probably experience now that you could actually keep up with his demonic brothers were _so_ worth it.

He couldn't wait to see what you had in store for the future. 

Soft voices drifted through the walls–yours, Mammon's, and...a child's? He turned to Lucifer, a question on the tip of his tongue.

"Get them first. I've got something to take care of." Lucifer's eyes shone dangerously. That, coupled with the heart he was still holding, had Satan swallowing down his words. Maybe he _would_ listen, just this once. 

He followed your voice, decidedly ignoring the squelches and raspy screams behind him. Leave it to Lucifer to manage to torture the dead. Er, perhaps the _almost_ dead.

Satan caught the last bits of the conversation as he approached the room you were in. He'd read enough–earthly accounts of broken families, psychological studies, and those stupid self-help books you forced him to flip through (you'd claimed he had "daddy issues" and also "grandpa issues" whatever that meant)–to know that this child was a victim of abuse. The way she spoke, it sounded like Mammon was too.

He had half-a-mind to turn around and help Lucifer with his business downstairs. 

He didn't bother to knock. For one, there was no door, and two, he was certain that they'd already known he was there. The child, a little girl with pale blue hair no more than seven years old, and you passed by him, you holding her hand loosely. Mammon followed, or tried to.

Satan gripped the crook of Mammon's elbow gently, holding him back.

"Mammon, are you alright?" He inquired hesitantly. God, he should've just let him pass. He was never good at this emotional stuff.

But he'd seen the handprint on his brother's cheek. Granted, it wasn't the first time he'd seen Mammon injured; in fact, he'd given him injuries much worse than this. 

Except, Mammon had never been hurt outside of their family. He was second only to Lucifer in strength, and wasn't exactly generous when it came to others. He wouldn't let anyone land a hit out of pity, that was for sure. So, greedy ass though he was, he usually got off without consequence. 

"I'm fine," Mammon muttered. "Why do you care, anyway?"

It would've been so easy to say _I don't._ His wrath nearly had the words spilling out of his mouth. Satan made an effort to recall those damned self-help books. 

"You're my brother, of course I care," Satan frowned. 

Mammon scoffed. Satan didn't like it. It sounded so cold, so unlike him. "None of you ever cared before." He ripped his arm out of Satan's grasp and stalked off behind you. 

Mammon's words echoed in his head. Had their relationship soured so badly Mammon couldn't even see that he was loved? That he was always a part of this family, for better or for worse?

This was a bigger problem than he'd anticipated.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Mammon was studying.

He'd interrupted Satan's reading time to demand his younger brother give him everything he had on time travel and alternate dimensions. He wasn't going to wait around for other people to solve this problem anymore. He was your first and he was supposed to protect you.

"Are you telling me you willingly agree to read not just one, but _multiple_ books?" Satan raised an eyebrow. "This isn't just some ploy to get me to hand over something valuable so you can sell it, right?"

"These are valuable?" Mammon exclaimed. He leaned away when Satan tried to grab back the stack in his arms. "That was a joke! Stop trying to hit me! As your older brother, I deserve resp–woah!" He fell into the piles of books littered on the floor, toppling over a few precariously-leaning stacks.

Mammon glanced at Satan sheepishly. "That wasn't even my fault. Really, that's on you."

Satan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. 

A few non-apologies later, Satan found himself seated and watching Mammon over the pages of his book. His brother was surprisingly serious, and had traded out his trademark yellow sunglasses for a pair of reading glasses (where he got them, Satan didn't know). 

If Mammon applied even a fraction of the studiousness he was displaying here in his studies, Lucifer would never chew him out for bad grades again. 

Satan continued to observe. He noticed the way Mammon's nose would scrunch up when he came across an unfamiliar section, and the way his face brightened when he figured it out. It was, he was reluctant to admit, endearing.

He didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. That he'd read all of those books and more several times over by now, and none of them helped. That he was just as lost now as he was before he'd done the research. 

No. He'd allow them both this contentment a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I just had midterms and boy did they suck like hell. Definitely failed my chem test but it is what it is. (Please comfort me I'm not doing well haaha.)
> 
> Ok, I always forget to include this, but please tell me if there's any mistakes or obvious contradictions lmao. These are pretty much first drafts, so like, once I finish I immediately just copy-paste and post it. 
> 
> Satan really crept up on me this chapter, I did not mean to make this all about him. I'm not complaining though, I really want to get more brotherly content in there!!! Let me know what you think :D


	13. it was a lifetime ago, dearest

_First Timeline - Original MC_

"Maybe we should throw him a party?" Asmo suggested as he inspected his nails. 

Satan immediately rejected him, "though Mammon typically enjoys that sort of thing, I don't think that's really appropriate for this situation." 

"I love parties. There's always tables full of food," Beel chimed in unhelpfully. His cheerful smile quickly turned into a frown as he looked at his empty hands, devoid of anything to throw in his mouth. Belphie patted his shoulder consolingly. 

Satan groaned, "this isn't about what _we'd_ like, it's about what Mammon _needs_. And what he needs is to be reminded that we actually don't hate him."

"Why is this such a big deal anyway?" Levi arched an eyebrow, barely looking up from his game. The tinny music flowing out of the headphones around Levi's neck was starting to get on Satan's nerves. 

"You didn't see the way he looked at me. How he spoke to me. I've never seen him like that."

The other brothers paused. They'd been treating this casually; distracting themselves from the problem in hopes that it'd magically disappear (they were quite good at that). 

Asmo liked to compare it to rough sex: they'd been doing all of the degradation and none of the aftercare. This was fixable, though; Asmo was a professional at aftercare. And the sex that came after aftercare, and the aftercare after that sex, and so on. It really was a deliciously endless cycle. 

He was getting off track. Point was: he could comfort just as well as he could tease. Perhaps some compliments were overdue. 

"Actually," Asmodeus spoke. Four heads swiveled to look at him. "I think we have. You wouldn't have known, being born during the Fall and all, but back in the Celestial Realm, Mammon would have periods where he'd be withdrawn and, following that, pretend to be twice as cheery as usual."

Levi tapped his chin, "I vaguely remember, but I always thought it was just stress. You know, it was hard for him as the second eldest. Always having to bearing the responsibility when things went wrong. Lucifer will say it never happened, but we were all young and immature then, and I remember a few times where he pushed the blame onto Mammon. He just endured it and never brought it up again."

Satan absorbed this new information, though it seemed he wasn't the only one learning. A quick look around the room showed furrowed eyebrows and hints of guilt. At least he'd never had any part in the mess upstairs.

"He didn't just take the fall for Lucifer either," Levi continued. "Haven't you ever wondered why we were practically free to do as we wanted? How the triplets could come and go from the human realm whenever they pleased? Our Father was never so forgiving." 

"No kidding; that motherfucker _sucked_ ," Belphegor jabbed. Any affection he'd once felt for the one who created them had been destroyed alongside his sister.

"Levi, I think that's the most I've heard you say without including any anime references," Asmo commented. Levi laughed dryly. 

Honestly, it wasn't their fault that everything had gone to shit–not really. They'd all had their own problems to sort through, new identities to come to terms with. Each of them had been so caught up in themselves to think about the rest of their family beyond passing interest (and annoyance). 

They'd grown too comfortable using Mammon as their personal punching bag, easy target that he was. He'd always seemed to brush it off, but it was clear now that he'd been suffering in silence. 

Perhaps MC had a point when they said the House desperately needed a therapist.

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

The sharp knife gleamed in the moonlight. Belphegor tightened his grip around the handle, reflecting the moon peeking through the window into his eyes. 

He had to admit, he never tired of the night sky in the human world. The Devildom, though eternally night, was somehow lacking. The stars shone brighter when he visited you.

He stood there, practically motionless, poised to strike above your slumbering figure. Your limbs were tangled up in the sheets again and he was suddenly reminded of they days you and him would nap together in the observatory. You'd made a habit of intertwining your legs with his in a full-blown cuddle. You always insisted afterwards that it was only because you got cold easily and craved his warmth unconsciously, but he liked to think that it was more so because you craved _him_ unconsciously.

Well, maybe that was a bit too far.

In any case, here he was, about to plunge a knife into your heart as you slept peacefully, not so much as a wrinkle marring your face. He'd be more concerned about your sense of danger if he wasn't the cause of it at the moment. 

You stirred and blinked drowsily as you noticed him. _Maybe your sense of self preservation isn't as terrible as he'd thought_.

"Belph? What're you doin' here?" you slurred, still not quite awake.

"I'm going to kill you," he explained easily, gesturing to the weapon in his hand.

"Oh fuck off," you waved at him, turning around to snuggle beneath your covers and presumably return to sleep. 

"You really should be more alarmed, given the circumstances."

"This is the third time this week. Either do it and get it over with or put down the knife and come to bed." He weighed his options. Stab you and deal with the aftermath? Or give in to his exhaustion and slip under the covers with you?

He placed his knife gently on the nightstand.

"If this is going to be a thing with you guys," you began as he settled in, "then I'm going to tell Lucifer."

"Maybe I should kill you before you get the chance," he said without any real intent.

"Well, if I'm right about _why_ you're suddenly homicidal, then that won't stop me at all. In fact, I'd personally see to it that you get the harshest punishment available. I hold grudges, you know."

It hadn't been long since you'd finished out your time as an exchange student. Around a decade, give or take a few years, if he was counting correctly. It was a little bit ridiculous how much he (and his brothers) missed having you around. The visits were barely enough to tide them over.

"That's not fair," he grumbled. "Asmo tried to poison you two weeks ago. What about him?"

"What about him?" you responded lightly.

"This is blatant favoritism. I'm really going to do it next time."

You turned over, finally facing him. Your hands snaked out from under the blanket and gripped his face firmly. "Belphegor. I'm not kidding. If you or your brothers try to kill me one more time, there will be hell to pay. I'm tired as _fuck_ and I can't have you guys sneaking in at every hour of the night brandishing your little swords or holding a pillow over my head."

You sighed and removed your hands. His eyes were wide, but he stayed quiet.

"Do you know how far Levi got before he felt bad and stopped? I was literally _in_ the bathtub. I'm not even sure if I should be relieved or worried that Lucifer hasn't tried anything. I mean, the fact that you're all showing up tells me enough about where he stands on this."

Officially awake, you sat up and flipped on the light, flooding the room with a soft glow. You grabbed your DDD from where it was charging next to you and began drafting a text.

 **MC** : This is your one and only warning. If I see a hint of an attempt on my life again, I will not hold back. It won't be pretty. 

**MC** : And Lucifer, you coward, either show up and kill me yourself or keep your goddamn brothers in check. I know they need your permission to come to the human realm. You ain't slick.

You were satisfied to see multiple bubbles pop up seconds later.

 **Mammon** : Someone's been tryna kill ya?!?!

 **Mammon** : How come I'm always the last to know these things? 

**Mammon** : Clearly you need my protection 24/7. I'll be up there faster than you can say "money"!! 

**MC** : Oh yeah. Mammon, you're exempt from this threat. I'll wait for you outside with a mug of warm poison apple cider. 

**Mammon** : i see yuo i'm rurnnig 

**Levi** : WHAT!! This is so not fair!!!!

 **MC** : Think about that the next time you almost drop a toaster in my bathtub.

 **Levi:** But I didn't! And I upgraded all of your cooking equipment as an apology!

 **MC** : That's true...I really love that motorized whisk...

 **Mammon** : Don't give in. He doesn't deserve ANY of this cider.

 **Satan** : I can't believe you got there so fast. The only time I've seen you run like that is when the debt collectors come knocking.

 **Mammon** : It was so worth it XD

_(Mammon sent a picture: he's smiling as he sips from a steaming glass mug. You're a blurry figure in the background, closing the door behind you.)_

**Asmo** : The aesthetic...

 **Asmo** : MC please,,,,,,I need it

 **Levi** : No way. If I can't get any, then you can't get any. 

**Levi** : THERE WAS A PACKAGE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT FILLED WITH LIMITED EDITION DELIRIUM HONEY AND YOU TRIED TO PUT IT IN MC'S TEA

 **Asmo** : So what? A little Delirium honey never killed anyone.

 **Asmo** : And why were you going through my packages in the first place, Levi? That's a dangerous hobby to have.

 **Levi** : You're full of shit, Asmo, and you know it. You're lucky MC could smell the poison wafting from their earl grey.

 **MC** : ^^

 **Asmo** : Alright, fine. If we're throwing family under the bus now, then I won't be left out. 

**Satan** : Why do I not have a good feeling about this?

 **Asmo** : Satan almost crushed MC's skull the other day. Premeditated and everything, so none of that "wrath is my sin" bullshit excuse you always use.

 **Satan** : Objection, your honor!

 **Levi** : Have you been watching that lawyer anime I recommended?

 **Satan** : ...no.

 **MC** : Guilty! Twice!

 **Satan** : You can't just skip the whole trial, MC! This is unlawful.

 **MC** : You know what's unlawful? You, waking me up at the asscrack of dawn, dangling an entire anvil above my head. Are we Looney Tunes? Where did you even get an anvil?

**Satan** : I didn't want the cider anyway.

_(Mammon sent a picture: you're tucked into him, both clutching matching glasses as you stick your tongues out at the camera.)_

**Mammon** : Your loss, bro.

 **Beel** : Hey, isn't Belphie there, too? 

_(MC sent a picture: Belphegor is huddled in the corner pitifully, notably cider-less.)_

**MC** : Yeah, but he's not getting any special treatment either.

 **MC** : That reminds me, though. Technically, you're also exempt Beel. 

**Beel** : But I also tried to kill you? (Sorry again, by the way.)

 **MC** : It's okay, I know your brothers manipulated you into doing it. (You're forgiven, for the fifth time. You can stop apologizing.)

 **Mammon** : Hey, hasn't Lucifer been suspiciously absent this whole time? Where's the punisher when you need him, eh?

 **Lucifer** : Don't worry about me, Mammon. Worry about the rest of your brothers. MC, I sincerely apologize for their behavior. It's absolutely unacceptable. And regardless of what you may think, I am in no way condoning their actions. 

**Lucifer** : As for the four of you, I've noted down everything that's been revealed here tonight. Come to my study. Now. Belphegor, if you aren't here in five minutes, I will personally drag you down. 

**Levi** : *gulp*

 **MC** : No pity.

_(Asmo sent a picture: he, Levi, and Satan are making their best attempt at puppy-dog eyes.)_

**MC:** A little pity. 

**MC** : But not enough to intervene. Have fun with Luci >:)

_(4 decades ago.)_

Levi had been aimlessly scrolling through his camera roll. It was, unsurprisingly, filled with memories of you. He wasn't sure if he'd done this to remind him of happier times or to push himself further into depression at your loss. 

It'd taken long hours of Lucifer's lectures to fully grasp the amount of preparation that would have to go into your afterlife. They'd been of the belief that you being dead meant instant transportation into the Devildom.

They'd even been willing to ignore your decision to live out your life, all too taken with their own selfish desires to monopolize you. You were always better without them.

You'd be alive now, wouldn't you? All they did was ruin your life over and over again. 

Maybe if you were still around, you'd coax him out of this downward spiral. Tell him that you were better for knowing them, not worse. That you missed him even half as much as he missed you. 


	14. bodies collide and become one, lover

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"I think I've been seeing things," Beel exclaimed over breakfast. The brothers paused their bickering and focused all their short-lived attention on the orange-haired glutton.

Lucifer set down his fork. "Is this something you need a doctor for?" _On second thought_ , "are hallucinations a product of extreme hunger?"

"Well, I _am_ hungry, but I don't think it's that." As if to prove a point, his stomach grumbled. He pat it gently and resumed speaking. "I keep seeing MC."

Their eyes turned sad.

Softly, Belphie questioned, "maybe this is just the grief? It feels like they're everywhere, right?"

Beel frowned. "It isn't," he insisted. "This never happened with Lilith."

"Oh, Beel..." Asmo reached out and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

Lucifer's deep voice cut through the quiet that settled upon them, "as much as I'd like to settle this and chalk this up to missing MC, we can't rule out the possibility of it being another fluke between timelines. Can you tell us anything else about what you've seen?"

"The first time, I was in the hall. I found one of their eggs–oh! I forgot to show you guys, hold on," he rummaged through his pockets until he victoriously pulled out a bright pink egg. It was a little flat and there were shallow teeth marks dotted on its surface, presumably from one of Beel's blind hungers. It was already a miracle the entire thing hadn't been digested yet.

The brothers passed it around gingerly, each smiling like schoolboys receiving a secret note in class. When it reached the recipient of the loving " _fuck off_ ", Lucifer honest-to-Diavolo _giggled_.

The silence that followed was palpable. Wide-eyed, Mammon couldn't hold himself back and burst out in the loudest peals of laughter they'd heard in a good long while. That prompted the rest of them to dissolve into fits of cackles, half of them ending up on the floor.

Lucifer had to tamp down the pride that threatened to destroy this lighthearted moment. With you, he'd learned to tolerate being the _occasional_ butt of a joke, but his patience was waning with every guffaw that left his brothers' mouths.

"You sound like pigs," he sneered. Oops, that one just slipped out.

"You're blushing, brother dearest~" Asmo placed his hands on Lucifer's cheeks. "So warm." At that, the sound of laughter only grew.

 _Do you have a death wish?_ Lucifer's eyes pierced into Asmo's, though the effect was hampered by the way his cheeks squished in his younger sibling's grip. Still, he took the hint and flounced away happily.

As the racket died down and the family resumed their places, Beel took the time to explain that _yes, he was certain it was you_ and _you actually_ hugged _him_ (that last bit was met with considerable jealousy and protest, though what they could possibly be protesting, he wasn't sure).

Lucifer caught himself on the edge of asking whether or not this was some nasty joke played by one of his brothers. The words rolled around in his mouth, coating his tongue bitterly. An echo of words he longed to forget pounded at his skull. That utterly insufferable otherworldly voice– _the hand that giveth also taketh away_.

They were too dependent on you, he decided. _He_ was too dependent on you. It was no wonder they seemed so crippled in the wake of your disappearance. Within even these short conversations, he found himself almost reverting back to the callous demon he'd been before you. The kind of man who hadn't cared if he hurt his brothers with his blunt words and only hurled insults, never praise.

He took pride in who he'd become, and he'd be damned if he was simply going to let his family crumble again. 

(And if this was also him sending a huge _fuck you_ to that bastard in the sky, then who was he to deny?)

"I'll contact Barbatos. I'm done waiting."

~~

  
_First Timeline - Original MC_

"What the fuck is this?" The table and half of the rug was covered in beauty products. Each bottle, tube, and fancy container was in pristine condition, which was somehow intimidating. You didn't want to step closer in fear of accidentally wrecking what was probably a million grimm worth of Asmo's belongings. He'd asked you to help him organize his collection, though he neglected to mention how extensive said collection actually was. You should've known. 

"Well, that's not a great reaction," Asmo flipped the hair out of his eyes, revealing delicately furrowed brows. Even now, you were unsure how much of him was effortless and how much was carefully curated.

"What's this? Getting distracted by my gorgeous face again?" he pouted and your heart skipped a beat. "I don't blame you, darling. Sometimes I wish I was you just so I could have the pleasure of gazing upon my being and making sweet, sweet lo–" Your hand shot out to cover his mouth before he could finish, though if the way his eyes flashed up at you was any indication, he wasn't exactly bothered.

To be fair, it wasn't as if you were some virginal saint, either. Disregarding your life before being dragged into inter-realm playtime, you'd neither had the willpower nor the desire to resist these absolutely delicious demons practically throwing themselves into your lap. Asmodeus alone could probably convince a nunnery to host an orgy, so really it wasn't your fault. 

Except, you realized with twisted glee, that had been an entirely different timeline. You couldn't help the little smirk that graced your lips as you looked down at the demon who was concentrating on tracing tiny hearts on your palm with his tongue. Finally, _you_ were the one who could lord lewd thoughts over the avatar of lust, complete with the total satisfaction of having actually accomplished them. 

Alright, that was a lot of saliva. "Gross, Asmo!" You yanked your hand away, attempting to rub the surface on his top. 

"Not the silk, MC!" he shouted through a burst of giggles, jerking away from you. Of course, unwilling to be outdone, you only reached further. Before you could lose your balance chasing him, he grabbed your wrist and yanked, allowing you to land on his chest as he fell back into scattered cushions on the floor. 

Despite his minor acrobatics to prevent your touch, you raised your now-dry hand in victory. He groaned as he noticed the wet spot near his shoulder, then slumped in some sort of gracefully ungraceful way only he could pull off. 

"Hell-spider stains so easily," he whined.

"I'm sure you know how to get stains out of anything at this point, lovely," you laughed and patted his cheek, then moved to get up. Hands graced your waist, holding you firmly in place.

"Why so eager to leave? Do you know how many would kill to be in your place?"

"Please tell me you are not propositioning me right now. Half of your brothers are in the next room and we are on the floor."

"The walls _are_ thin," he supplied helpfully, though you couldn't tell if that was meant to be an encouragement or deterrent. He waggled his eyebrows. Ah, that answered that.

"But you wouldn't know anything about that, right?" You pushed off of him again; this time, he didn't stop you. Asmo looked lost in thought, which was never a good sign. You poked his forehead lightly with your pointer finger, jostling him out of whatever fantasy he'd inevitably drifted into.

For a fleeting moment, his face turned apologetic. You softened. It was easy to forget how their sins controlled them as much as they controlled their sins. Yes, there was plentiful enjoyment to be had in exchange–as much as Beel's hunger was a constant pain, he found more pleasure in food than likely anyone else in the world; Mammon's greed meant his bank account often ran dry, but spending money gave him cathartic release like no other. It was the same for every brother, including Asmodeus, as much as he liked to pretend otherwise. 

Refusal to admit weakness must've ran in the family. 

"Let's just say that I could tell you exactly which rooms have the best acoustics, hmm?" 

"Even–?" Your eyes widened. He nodded, a devilish grin playing on his face.

"Even." He affirmed.

A terrible thought struck you. "What about–?"

At that, he laughed in your face. "Even!"

"Before or...?"

He didn't even deign to answer that one. You resolved to wash your sheets as soon as possible. Actually, maybe you'd do an entire power-wash. Or would it be more effective to just burn the whole room to ashes?

You brought out your trump card. This required the most brutal of paybacks. 

"I'm telling Lucifer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, i try to write plot-relevant chapters and a brother just swoops in and takes over. did i mean to have half a chapter dedicated to analyzing asmodeus??? absolutely not. did it happen anyways?? yes it did. i am not sorry. i love asmodeus with all my heart, which is exactly how it should be.
> 
> also, just in case you readers were not aware: i am awfully disorganized. if any parts of this story don't make sense, chances are that's a plot hole. if you want to point it out, i will not hold it against you, and will try to patch it as well as i can. this also means that this book is probably going to be quite long (case in point: this chapter). it seems i like to write filler chapters that sort of serve as an analysis of each of the characters, so i hope you're down for that. i think i'm trying to compensate for all the time behind the stories the game gives us, but whatever. all that matters is that i'm happy, and you're happy, and the boys are happy.
> 
> have a wonderful holiday!!! i hope everyone is able to take a little time to just relax and unwind as this year comes to a close. god knows we all need it. stay safe!!


	15. tears fall like liquid gold, precious

_First Timeline - Original MC_

You collapsed over the back of Levi's chair, exhausted. 

"MC?" he cried, taken aback by your sudden appearance in his room. "What are you doing here?"

It seemed you'd been confused yet again. You'd caught yourself doing so often. In the other timeline, you'd grown used to simply barging into any of their rooms whenever you wanted, no questions asked. In return, they did the same. It wasn't uncommon to find a demon or two napping in your bed when you returned from a shopping or trip, like some reverse-Goldilocks. 

Heh. Imagine that. Maybe you should pitch that story to Simeon?

A controller appeared, practically shoved in your face by a reddening hand. It was always funny how easily these feared and hardened brothers blushed. 

"If you're going to be here, you might as well play. Rare loot is dropping today."

You grabbed it. As he resumed his position directly in front of the screen, you surprised him by cozying up to his side. He was warm, and you were incredibly tired.

"Levi, I'm warning you now. I will definitely fall asleep." Your eyelids were already drooping.

"H-Hey! How am I supposed to concentrate with you laying on me like that?" He protested, but made no effort to move away. 

"I'll be cheering you on in my dreams, Levia-chan~" you mumbled, drifting off. 

He took a look at you and sighed. No chance in hell was he going to get the mystical phoenix feather now. 

Levi shut off the game, switching to an episode of an anime he'd watched twenty times through already. Then he contented himself with the feeling of your shoulders shifting as you breathed peacefully. 

In another room, Mammon brooded, for once sitting peacefully. His hands weren't fingering his DDD, eyes weren't searching for new opportunities to make quick cash.

Silently, he wished to himself that he could remain still until the end of time. Let the weeds grow over his unmoving body as he slowly crumbled to dust. Would he see Lilith?

Would it matter?

At least like this he wasn't being a bother to Lucifer. Surely his older brother was growing tired of him after centuries of dealing with his shit. Well, it wasn't like he could help it. He didn't _want_ to be the avatar of greed, always the scummy second-born. Lucifer was lucky; he got a good sin. 

Heh. A good sin. Now _that_ was a joke. 

Even his younger brothers were better off than him. He begged them for Grimm every day–what kind of older brother did that? He'd stolen, cheated, and lied for...what, exactly? Grimm that lasted two seconds in his hands? Oh, how the mighty do fall. 

There'd been warmer days. They'd leaned on him, depended on him to give them the care they needed. He'd shielded them from the worst of the world, and in return, they loved him. What use is he to them like this?

He can't look them in the eyes. 

~~

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

"It's thin, alright," Barbatos murmured, wandering back to the group. "I'd imagine there to be several more spots around the House where the fabric of space-time is similarly fluctuating."

"What does it mean?" asked Lucifer.

"This is a bit concerning. Little things like this are usually natural. In this case, however, I fear something more dangerous is taking place," he frowned. "I hate to say it, but MC was never meant to happen. I fear their very existence is tearing at the very essence of our timelines."

"Are they in danger?" Mammon shouted. Lucifer would've scolded him if the same question wasn't at the front of his mind. 

"There's no way to tell for certain. It might be time to establish contact once more." At that, he strode off, likely to meet with Diavolo. The remaining demon lords were left to their thoughts, of which there were many.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," Belphegor whispered, breaking the silence. 

"Why is that butler so fucking vague?" huffed Mammon. "Like, just tell us what's going on."

Satan didn't speak, though his face betrayed his dismay: there was little chance this would end well. In a perfect world, you'd be successfully retrieved and spend eternity with them, as planned. 

Unfortunately, if their lives so far were any indication, nothing was ever that simple. Especially not important, life-changing events. No, those had a particular penchant for going awry in the worst ways. 

What would it be this time? Perhaps they'd be forced to fix the spots permanently, waving goodbye to whatever barely-there pieces of you they still had? Or would they decide to selfishly allow them to remain, stubbornly holding on to your ghost, consequences be damned? (And there would be consequences. There were _always_ consequences.)

He glanced at Lucifer, who looked to be coming to the same conclusions. 

God, thinking about this was making him angry. The worst kind of wrath was poking at his skin, begging to be released. Maybe he'd go work out with Beel today, release the pent-up emotions. Taking it out on his brothers would do no good now.

Belphegor was having a difficult time. He was supposed to be the goddamn avatar of sloth. His specialty was fucking with minds! 

This was fucking with his own head, that was for sure.

Ugh. Why couldn't the other him be just a tiny bit weaker? That would make this a whole lot easier. Going head-to-head with himself was absolutely useless. He'd have to tip the scales somehow.

"Well, what if you brought us with you?" Beel offered, as if it were a given. 

"No, that wouldn't..." Belphegor paused. Rolled the idea around his brain for a few seconds. "Beelzebub, light of my life and stars in my sky, you are a genius. I love you and I would die for you."

Beel smiled so wide his cheeks ached. His eyes crinkled at the corners and he surrounded Belphie's lithe body with his own heavily-muscled arms. "I would never let that happen."

Belphie breathed in his twin's comforting scent. Beel smelled faintly of hot sauce and grilled meat–he wouldn't have it any other way. Briefly, he debated ordering a custom-made candle, but decided that Beel would probably eat it when he wasn't looking. 

(They'd learned their lesson years ago. Devil's food cake perfume had been a funny joke for all of two seconds before they'd had to physically restrain Beel from pouring the bottle down his throat.)

"Let's call the others."

~~ 

_First Timeline - Original MC_

Warm hands covered Mammon's eyes from behind, shaking him out of his thoughts. 

"Guess who?" a familiar, and welcome, voice asked lightly. 

"Lucifer?" he joked. The hands fell away and he briefly mourned the loss.

"Yeah, you wish," you snorted, nudging him in the back. "What's got you so out of sorts, my beloved first?"

The blush that graced his face was nothing short of satisfying. You'd never quite grown immune to his innocent charm, despite your decades of experience. 

"Oh, nothing much," he evaded, not-so-skillfully. You weren't disappointed; it would've been more surprising if he'd chosen to be honest. You were suddenly hit with major déjà vu. It appeared you'd need to coax the truth out of him. 

"I have a tub of chocolate-caramel swirl tucked away in the freezer. What do you say we grab a few spoons and demolish it today? I can't keep it hidden from Beel for much longer anyway," you offered, hoping he'd take the bait. 

Luckily, he'd always been particularly open to temptation. Maybe it was his greed, or maybe it was a subconscious acceptance of your desire to help him–either way, he nodded and you made a short detour to the kitchen, meeting him back in his spacious bedroom moments later. 

Two shiny spoons reflected a warped face back at him. He stuck out his tongue and watched the tiny face do the same, though it came out elongated and strangely magnified. 

"Having fun?"

Rather than admit his strange fascination with watching himself, he replied, "you know, once I found a pair of rusty gold spoons up in the human world. Made enough money off those things to buy a set of luck potions."

You made a noise of affirmation through a spoonful of delicious ice cream. 

"Yeah, I was so excited I drank the whole lot in one go. Then I hit the casino. I was so confident, too," he chuckled. "Turned out the witch was running a scheme. The potions were just water dyed green."

He was really getting distraught over this story, you noticed. You patted his head in consolation. 

"I guess I really am just that stupid, huh?"

Ah shit, the brothers' favorite pastime: rampant self-loathing. Oh, sure, they did a passable job of masking it with overindulgence and distractions, but anybody who could manage any sort of relationship with them could tell what lay underneath. 

You set aside your spoon, focusing all your attention on the white-haired demon.

"Mammon, no one thinks that about you. Hey, look– _look_ at me. Your brothers go too far with their jokes, but if they knew how you felt, they'd stop in a heartbeat. Making bad decisions isn't stupid, it's just unlucky. All you have to do is learn from your mistakes, and we– _I_ –will be there with you every step of the way. We really, genuinely, _honestly_ love you."

Mammon had always been a crier. He blubbered in your arms as you rubbed his muscled arms comfortingly, "I lost all my money and Lucifer yelled at me and everyone made fun of me for _decades_!"

You made low soothing noises, "I know, I know. Let it out, Mammoney. You didn't deserve that. It's okay."

Would it be weird to say that something about these demons brought out some sort of parental instinct in you? (No, yeah, that was definitely weird.) 

"I'm not supposed to tell you this, but your brothers have been planning ways to cheer you up for days. Don't ever doubt that you are loved in this family. Even when I'm not here, you'll always have your brothers." You could tell he wanted to refute you, but he couldn't find the words amidst his tears. "Don't tell them I told you, 'k?" 

His sobs subsided into quiet sniffles, and soon nothing at all. It seemed he'd tired himself out. You hesitated to leave him, so vulnerable. Experience told you he wouldn't react well to waking up alone.

You briefly mourned the ice cream that would surely be warm soup by the time you woke. Then, you passed out with Mammon's head tucked into your collarbone, your hand still smoothing his hair in gentle movements. 

(If you remembered gloved hands tucking a blanket securely around your bodies, you didn't mention it.)


	16. you reek of roses, my sweet

_Second Timeline - Dead MC_

Barbatos tread a rather thin line on a day-to-day basis.

Time is a delicate thing. It isn't meant to be toyed with, even by order of royalty. It obeys no law except its own.

On one hand, he'd sworn fealty to the crown long ago. That meant doing as he was told with little input of his own. On the other hand, manipulating time came with its own consequences. It very much did not like to be messed with, and would resist with all its might (which, unfortunately for him, was quite strong and rather inescapable). 

He'd gotten by all these centuries by being extremely careful. He tampered only with the blindspots, minuscule patches that flickered in the corners of his eyes. He looked ahead to the infinite futures and advised Lord Diavolo the best possible routes (and, when his Lord inevitably didn't listen, offered another slew of choices). He abandoned timelines only as a last resort, and _never_ sent anyone else through.

Well, with one sole exception.

And, really, what a headache that was turning out to be. He cursed the alternate him who made the absolutely idiotic decision to send you through. He should've known better. 

The after effects of entering different timelines could effectively wipe him out for days afterward, and this was _with_ extensive training. There was simply no telling what it could've done to you, a defenseless human. For all he knew, you could've been torn apart molecule by painstaking molecule as soon as you'd stepped through.

It was utterly irresponsible, and it had Lord Diavolo's name written all over it. 

Lord Diavolo was, upon first inspection, an excitable, overeager demon with too much power and too little to do. He never allowed himself to be bored, and as a result, never allowed Barbatos any rest. This was all well enough; Lord Diavolo does whatever he wants and his trusty butler cleans up after him. 

Given enough time, one will come to find that, though the Lord does have a penchant for mischief, he rarely acts without cause. He is in charge of an entire realm, after all, and he's been raised with a golden spoon in one fist and legal documents in the other. His charismatic personality has been carefully constructed to charm and disarm any would-be adversary or ally. 

Barbatos remembered your skepticism when you first landed in the Devildom. You were more perceptive than most. Then, you were swept away by the combined chaos of seven demon lords, two angels, and one sorcerer, and had no time to question anything. Supposedly, you trusted in him and his abilities enough to jump into an entirely different timeline within a few months of knowing him.

That, or you were stupid. 

Either way, Lord Diavolo got what he wanted. But when didn't he?

Over the years, you'd only grown more aware. Rather interestingly, you never shied away from any of them, even though you were nothing but a pawn in their complicated political games. Or at least, that's what you were _supposed_ to be.

You were always so full of surprises.

Like some sort of poisonous mold, you grew on all of them and overtook their homes; invaded their privacy; infected the very air they breathed. Even he wasn't immune to your toxic presence. (Perhaps this metaphor was getting out of hand.)

Point was: Barbatos liked you. Diavolo liked you. The brothers liked you. Even the damned exchange students liked you. 

Were you some sort of witch? Had you placed an inescapable curse on them, one so powerful even the strongest demons had fallen prey? There was no way one human could have charmed them all so deeply.

No matter. 

You had their hearts in your firm grasp, and you'd have to pay the consequences. They would get you back, regardless of how you felt about it. 

For now, Barbatos contented himself with watching you live your life again and tried not to feel too envious of himself.

~~

_First Timeline - Original MC_

A shiver passed through you and the hair stood up at the back of your neck. You suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. The feeling passed as quickly as it came, and you immersed yourself back in the natural chaos of the House.

"Stop fucking taking my things, Levi," Satan growled. Noticing Levi's flighty look, he tacked on, "and don't even think about blaming Mammon. You left one of your little charms on the floor, thief." He revealed a sparkling plastic cutout of an anime character decked out in frills and beads. One of a set, you knew, recalling the longwinded explanation Levi had given you as he bragged about his extensive collection. 

"Yuri-! Unhand her, beast!" Levi made to snatch the swinging charm, but Satan drew his hand back too quickly. The blue-haired demon was left grasping at air. 

"Not so fast, otaku. Return my stuff, or she gets it." You and Beel watched with rapt attention as Satan dangled the ever-smiling Yuri near the roaring fire that, while once was simply being used to warm the room, was now going to be Satan's apparent weapon of choice. Levi gaped; you and Beel sipped at your drinks. 

"Switch?" You whispered, holding out your cup. He said nothing, but held out his own and you made the swap quietly. The large drink was nearly empty, which you'd expected. You drained out the last of it and sighed happily. Almost perfectly in sync, Beel tipped out the rest of his into his mouth and licked his lips. 

"We should go to this place again," he smiled. 

"Let's give them time to stock up again," you laughed, patting his arm. He blushed lightly and you couldn't resist pecking his cheek. He was warm beneath your lips. 

"This is a matter of life and death! Stop flirting, you disgusting normies!" A loud voice interjected, easily identified as Levi. 

"What he said," Satan added drolly. The wicked gleam in his eye belied his nonchalance. 

The two looked at you expectantly. Next to you, Beel muttered to himself, "flirting?".

"Uh, sharing is caring?" You offered. This was apparently the wrong answer because Satan chucked Yuri into the fire and strode off with one last warning glance at Levi. The demon in question gulped, then registered that his charm had been brutally murdered and busied himself with putting out the flames with his tears. 

You ignored the exclamations of war interspersed with his wails. 

"Wanna go work out?" You nudged the lumbering demon beside you, making sure to lower your voice. At his emphatic "sure!" you linked your arms together and were off, leaving Levi alone to conspire, or whatever it was he did on his own time. 

You were half-expecting Levi to plead for you help or accuse you of being at fault, but breathed a sigh of relief when you were allowed to leave unaccosted. You may have been the official problem-solver of the house, but some things were left better untouched. They'd gotten this far without you, right?

You winced as something crashed in the room you just left. Nope. Not your problem. 

What _was_ your problem, however, was your existence. Or, what, exactly, you planned to do with yourself. 

As Beel prattled on about his new training regimen, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to that very issue. It had been a little over a month by now, with no sign from your timeline save for the one incident with Belphegor in the dungeon. You were falling back into your old patterns with everyone, albeit decades in the past. Life was comfortable.

Could you spend the rest of forever here? Grow old again and finally get the chance to enact your plans for your afterlife? (Perhaps you'd skip the growing old entirely–you didn't particularly miss your aching joints and frail bones.) Surely it wouldn't be so bad to stay.

Except.

Yes, it wouldn't be so bad for you, getting to live again with the same demons you'd grown to love over a lifetime and then some. However, what of the ones you'd left behind, now in a world devoid of you? Was it self-centered of you to believe that they'd never recover? Could you do that to them, willingly?

Would they let you?

It was no secret how possessive these supernatural beings were. Amongst themselves, the brothers couldn't help but fight over every piece of you; your time and your feelings had to be equally split or there'd be hell to pay from the jilted demon. Solomon and Simeon were less territorial, though they often tried to subtly monopolize you when they came around. Not to mention Diavolo and Barbatos. Even now, after so many years of friendship, you weren't entirely sure where you stood with either of them. You weren't fooled by their appearances; you knew that something much darker bubbled beneath their surfaces. They weren't the most feared demons in the Devildom because of their warm and welcoming personalities. 

Ugh. Thinking about this was making your brain hurt. This was a problem for some serious pros-and-cons lists and lots of caffeine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel in my heart that Barbatos is a yandere. Like, everyone else is kinda like that too, but Barbatos is just...darker??? It's always the butler, right?
> 
> In other news, guess who's changing their major!!! That's right babey I'm finally joining liberal arts. Idk why I thought I could do STEM for the rest of my life. I'm very clearly into writing and art and humanities and all that good stuff. Now I'm kinda considering law...
> 
> I'm just so excited now!! I was really dreading going back to school bc of the classes I was going to take, but now that I've dropped them in favor of stuff I actually like, it's like a weight off my shoulders :)))) I hope all of you are doing well too! 
> 
> Happy holidays and happy new year to everyone (I'm a bit late, but that's ok)!!!


End file.
